Apparently, the youths (yes, I said it, the youths) have discovered something groundbreaking. Revolutionary. Positively cutting-edge. It’s called Nonnamaxxing. Which, for those of us who have been busy answering emails while brushing our teeth and silently spiraling, is the idea that if you live like an Italian grandmother […]
I recently came across an odd news story about a man who called 911 after Red Lobster refused to refill his cheddar biscuits for the twelfth time. Twelfth. 12. A dozen biscuits deep into what I can only assume was a very committed personal journey, this man decided […]
There are moments when the universe gently whispers, “See? Healing is possible.” And then there are moments when the universe hands you a fish from the Hudson River and says, “Trust me.” I do not trust it. Apparently, for the first time in 50 years, yes, half a […]
There are many ways to know society is teetering on the edge. Such as people clapping when planes land (well, Puerto Ricans have always done that), group chats named “Final_Final_v3,” and now a rogue mushroom staging what can only be described as a slow-motion botanical coup. Enter the […]
There are crimes of desperation.There are crimes of opportunity.And then there are crimes that make you pause, tilt your head, and whisper that you kind of kind of get it. Case in point somewhere between Italy and Poland, 12 tons of Kit Kats were stolen. Vanished. Liberated. Rehomed. […]
There are people who think dogs are chaotic creatures. Loud, needy, impulsive. Agents of fur and entropy. Those people have clearly never noticed how dogs build rituals. Not routines. Rituals. Sacred, non-negotiable emotional appointments with their human. Mine have three. My middle dog who is my resident curmudgeon, […]
I don’t know who decided that Brussels sprouts would be the official vegetable of 2025, but I would like to have a word. Preferably far away from any roasting pan. Every restaurant menu I glanced at toward the end of the year whether it was holiday prix-fixe, catered […]
When are you most happy? I’m most happy in moments that don’t look impressive on paper. Not the kind of happy that requires a caption or a filter or proof.The kind that just happens. Quietly. Reliably. Like muscle memory. I’m most happy making pancakes for my son at […]
There’s always that family member who takes the holidays a little too far. You know who I mean The one who disappears midway through dessert only to be found later curled up in the guest bathroom, cuddling a hand towel like it’s a long-lost lover. Well, this year, […]
Somewhere between my third slice of pie and my third dog stepping on my stomach, I read the wildest thing. Scientists found tryptophan, the same sleepy amino acid we blame for our Thanksgiving couch comas, on Bennu. That is a small asteroid that swings by Earth every six […]
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