This may be the most 2026 headline we get all year. A DoorDash delivery robot wandered into an active SWAT scene and refused to evacuate. Of course it did. Why wouldn’t it? The robot has no amygdala. No anxiety. No “maybe I should not be here while heavily […]
In a move that feels equal parts dystopian and deeply on-brand for 2026, Dating.com has announced it’s hiring its first-ever Chief Breakup Officer. This is a person whose full-time job is to end other people’s relationships for them. I’m sorry, is this not just Human Resources with better […]
Of course it was Florida. An entrepreneurial spirit looked at a Walmart parking lot and thought, “You know what this needs? Pineapple garnish and emotional regulation.” And just like that an emotional support tiki bar was born. For three glorious hours. Three hours of questionable zoning decisions and […]
So apparently, we’ve decided death needed a software update. Enter the “grief bot.” An AI-powered, eerily chipper digital version of your dead loved one which is ready to text you back, remember your birthday, and maybe even say the things they never quite managed to say while alive. […]
Researchers have discovered something deeply comforting about human connection. We don’t actually bond over shared values, hopes, or dreams. No no. We bond over what we can’t stand. This explains a lot. You’re at a party. You could try to ask someone “What brings you joy?” Or you […]
There are bad decisions and then there are parade-level, caught-on-camera, what exactly did you think was going to happen here decisions. A woman, now former executive at JPMorgan Chase, attends a parade, presumably to celebrate, soak in joy, maybe grab a T-shirt cannon freebie like a normal person. […]
Apparently, we’re speaking about 300 fewer words a day than we used to. Three hundred. That’s not just a statistic. That’s a slow, collective quieting.And honestly? I believe it. Because somewhere between “call me when you get there” and “k,” we decided full sentences were optional. We don’t […]
“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated.” There’s something almost quietly defiant about that line from Maya Angelou. Not loud. Not performative. Just steady. Because let’s be honest, defeat shows up. Regularly. Uninvited. Sometimes dressed as rejection, sometimes as loss, sometimes as the slow […]
Of course this exists. Somewhere along the timeline where we started tracking our steps, optimizing our sleep, and assigning moral value to hydration, it was only a matter of time before happy hour got clinically evaluated. Enter: the “barmacy.” Because why just decompress with friends when you can […]
There’s a glass of water on my nightstand right now. I will not drink it. I never drink it. And yet, every night, I place it there like I’m preparing for a very specific, very dramatic version of myself who might awaken at 3:17am, parched, reflective, possibly mid–existential […]