“It takes two years to learn to speak and sixty to learn to keep quiet.” Ah, Ernest. Sir. You really woke up and chose violence with that one. Because here I am, not yet sixty (thank you very much), and already deeply aware that the second half of […]
There are wrinkles you earn through laugh lines, sun-kissed memories, and the faint crease of “I have lived.” And then there are the other wrinkles. The ones brought to you by that person. You know the one. Actually, you probably know three. A family member who calls only […]
Somewhere in upstate New York, Syracuse University looked at its course catalog (apparently the academic equivalent of a hoarder’s attic) and said, with admirable calm, “This no longer sparks enrollment.” Eighty-four majors. Gone. Or paused. Or gently escorted to the existential waiting room where discontinued things go to […]
Apparently, the youths (yes, I said it, the youths) have discovered something groundbreaking. Revolutionary. Positively cutting-edge. It’s called Nonnamaxxing. Which, for those of us who have been busy answering emails while brushing our teeth and silently spiraling, is the idea that if you live like an Italian grandmother […]
Somewhere in Warsaw, a humanoid robot recently chased a group of wild boars out of a neighborhood, escorted them politely into the woods, and then because subtlety is dead, waved goodbye. Waved. Goodbye. And the internet, naturally, let the video go viral thinking on part that it was […]
There was a time not that long ago when I considered myself a stealth operator in the wild terrain of office hallways. Baseball cap pulled low, eyes fixed forward, stride purposeful. If there were an Olympic sport for avoiding small talk, I would have been on the podium, […]
I came across one of those glossy, aggressively inspirational quotes on social media the other day. You know the kind, floating over a sunset like it just closed a Series A round “Your mind will believe what you continuously tell it. So tell it you are smart, ambitious, […]
I have reached a point in life where I trust dogs more than people. And not in a cute, Instagram-caption kind of way. I mean in a deeply scientific, peer-reviewed, my nervous system has run the data kind of way. People are flexible. We smile when we don’t […]
There should really be a punch card for grief by now. Ten losses and you get a free latte, a brief reprieve, a coupon for “emotional stability, one day only.” I would have redeemed mine several lifetimes ago. I have lost in all the traditional ways. The kinds […]
I came across a LinkedIn post the other day that said, “Keep the gap. It’s the engine.” And I had two immediate reactions 1. Wow. That’s beautiful.2. Also, have you met my gap? Because it is not an engine. It is a full-blown emotional support crisis. The idea […]
