I recently stumbled upon an article (and I use the term news generously these days) about adults using pacifiers to calm themselves down.

Adult. Pacifiers.

Pause.

Now listen! I actually get the impulse. We are living in times that feel like a constant low-grade alarm bell. Everyone is triggered, activated, overstimulated. Nervous systems are doing the absolute most. So yes, I understand the desire to self-soothe. Put your hand on your chest. Take a breath. Tap it out. Regulate like the emotionally evolved beings we are all trying, and sometimes failing, to become.

But a pacifier?

I have questions.

Maybe this is where my own history sneaks in. I didn’t use a pacifier with my son. I breastfed for over 16 months while working, which in itself felt like an Olympic sport with no medal and just a lot of side-eye from strangers and the occasional logistical crisis.

And let me be clear:l. I don’t judge other mothers. Not even a little. If anything, I have felt judged for doing things the way I did. Motherhood, as it turns out, is less a supportive village and more a panel of silent critics holding up scorecards.

So no, this is not about judgment.

It’s more about curiosity. And maybe a tiny bit of bewilderment.

Because here’s what I know.  Life will keep coming. The stressors don’t politely stop at infancy. They evolve. They get more sophisticated, more layered, more existential. A pacifier, metaphorical or otherwise, can only go so far.

At some point, we have to build internal tools. Real ones. The kind that don’t fall out of our mouths when things get uncomfortable.

Breathing. Movement. Boundaries. Perspective. The deeply unsexy work of emotional regulation.

And yet who am I to judge?

If someone finds comfort in something that soothes them, in a world that feels increasingly jagged, maybe that says less about them and more about the intensity of the moment we’re all living in.

Still, I can’t help but think that we deserve coping mechanisms that meet us where we are now, not ones that take us back to where we started.

Be gentle with mothers. Be gentle with people. Everyone is doing something to get through.

But also maybe keep the pacifiers in retirement.

Just a thought.