So apparently, the internet has decided that not only do parallel universes exist (fine, physics, do your thing), but there’s also another version of me out there controlling me. Like I’m some kind of emotional marionette. Or worse, a cosmic voodoo doll. Somewhere, allegedly, Alternate Me is sitting […]
You really can’t make this stuff up anymore. Or rather, you can, and apparently people are doing so with admirable commitment and a suspicious amount of PowerPoint. This week’s dispatch from the “Is This Real Life or Did I Fall Asleep on the Remote?” files includes a story […]
There is a word (because of course there is a word) for when life doesn’t just happen to you, but slowly organizes against you with your quiet, unknowing participation. It’s called zemblanity. Which sounds like a country you don’t want to vacation in. Or a skincare condition. It […]
Scientists recently thawed bacteria trapped in ice for something like thirteen thousand years inside Scărișoara Cave in Romania, which is already the kind of sentence that makes me feel like humanity is poking at something that should have stayed in a locked narrative box labeled Do Not Disturb. […]
People love a good mystery especially one that involves vanishing ships, spooky fog, and compasses losing their moral and magnetic direction. The Bermuda Triangle usually hogs the spotlight, but little do most know there’s a Midwestern cousin lurking quietly up north: the Lake Michigan Triangle. Or as I […]
In my dreams,I am always packing.Suitcases lined up like soldiers,zippered mouths strainingwith clothes I’ll never wearto places I never quite reach. I set out,but the road splinters into side streets,detours,barriers that flash like neon reminders:“Not today.”And so I stumble off-rampafter off-ramp,carrying too much,getting nowhere. The ghosts wait for […]
So, there I was, deep in the trenches of paperwork and endless Zoom calls, when I looked up from my laptop and realized something. There it was. To the right of my keyboard, peeking out from behind a folder like a guilty party caught mid-scheme: a salt shaker […]
So here I am, yet again, re-watching The Vampire Diaries. Yes, I know. I can’t stand the sight of blood in real life. But put a brooding vampire on my screen with a leather jacket and a moral dilemma, and suddenly I’m all in. There’s just something about […]
Well, here we go again. Another day, another radioactive animal warning. The FDA has now cautioned us not to eat certain Great Value frozen shrimp at Walmart due to possible contamination with a radioactive isotope. Yes, radioactive shrimp. Not just spoiled, not just salmonella-laced, not just “smells like […]
Saturday nights have a peculiar magic, don’t they? Today was one of those days where everything felt slightly off-kilter, like a movie scene directed by a mischievous imp. It all started with my morning coffee, or rather, the lack thereof. My trusty coffee machine decided to take the […]
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