The annoyance of checking off the widow box

This year has not been easy, and it’s only February. Some people say it can only get better from here. Statistically speaking, I’m not convinced of that. Nonetheless, I keep going allowing myself to vent here and there along the way.

Today, I just had to stop and allow myself to be annoyed at all the health forms and other documentation I’ve had to complete as of late. I went from checking the “married” box to now checking the “widow” box. And, I’m left wondering why there is a need for that information to be provided on so many forms.

I am giving to understand that on one’s IRS tax filings, you can claim widow status for tears in order to get higher deductions. That I get and appreciate.

However, when I mark the widow box on a health form, most health providers won’t look at that nor take that necessarily into consideration. The same goes for other countless forms.

In the end, it’s just another label to stick onto someone.

6 replies »

  1. Labels Often Restrict More
    Than Free Dear Miriam
    Such is the
    Beast That Only
    Clothes Us Yet
    Leaves Our
    Essence Bare
    As Every Word
    Now Is Less Than
    What It Represents New
    Labels Labels Everywhere
    (Human Definitions Vary)
    Until We Lose The Essence
    oF THE Nature of Who We Really Are..:)


  2. Yep. Nosiness knows no boundaries. That these interrogaters can’t or won’t communicate with each other maybe protects privacy, but maybe it doesn’t, just as gossips reveal only part of what they believe they know about you. However, I have to wonder why they believe they need certain personal information, and how do they plan to use it, if, indeed, they have a plan at all.

    More likely, these forms are updates of previous forms, with only a very few questions changed, and good for nothing except to provide useless paperwork for underpaid workers who don’t care what boxes you check.


  3. I totally agree with you that mentioning once relationship status shouldn’t be a necessity. But this is part of the process that you will have to confront time and again. The labelling also is a painful reminder of people we have lost. After loss of a loved one, you wish that you get some time to process the emptiness but forms and labels will continuosly remind you of the change. It is just another grieving phase.
    Reminder: You are tough and you are doing good.


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