If I were granted one wish today, I wonder what I would ask for.

Years ago, it would have been easy.

Money. A certain amount, preferably obscene but not tacky.

A house.

Maybe true love.

Although, honestly, I’m still undecided on that one. I’ve seen how that particular wish can come with fine print.

But today?

Today I think I might wish for something entirely different.

I might wish to undo the moments when I caused pain.

Not just to the people who mattered most, but perhaps to everyone I have ever hurt. The careless words. The selfish moments. The times I was so busy protecting myself that I didn’t notice I was wounding someone else.

I would like to rewind those moments and soften them.

But then I wonder whether is that really a wish I would want granted?

Because what happens to the butterfly effect?

If I undo the hurt, do I undo the distance that followed? And if I undo the distance, do certain people remain in my life who were ultimately supposed to leave?

Do I change relationships?

Do I change marriages?

Do I change friendships?

Do I change who I became?

Maybe some of my greatest lessons came wrapped in guilt, regret, loss and the uncomfortable realization that I could have done better.

If I erase the pain, do I erase the wisdom that came from it?

I’ve had this experience with other wishes.

There were jobs I wanted so desperately that getting one felt like winning the psychological lottery. Ecstasy! I got it!

And then, sometimes, that same job slowly turned into agony.

Which makes me think perhaps the universe has a wicked sense of humor.

Sometimes we get exactly what we asked for.

And then discover we forgot to read the terms and conditions.

Maybe that’s the problem with wishes.

We imagine the destination but never consider the alternate timelines.

The house. The money. The love. The job.

The apology.

The undoing.

So perhaps my one wish would come with a question attached.

If I change the past, do I still get to keep the woman who emerged from it?

Because I don’t want to erase everything.

I want to understand it.

I want to make peace with it.

I want to aid the people I hurt, forgive the people who hurt me, and perhaps most importantly, forgive the versions of myself who were doing the best they could with whatever they knew at the time.

Maybe that is the closest thing to magic we actually get.

Not undoing the past.

But finally learning how to carry it without letting it carry us.

Still…

If anyone has a genie lying around, I wouldn’t mind asking a few follow-up questions.

Because apparently even wishes need boundaries.

And psychologist Mimi has learned that you have to be careful what you wish for.

Sometimes you get it.

And sometimes getting it changes everything.