Are you holding a grudge? About?
.
Ok. I’ve got a confession to make. Shhh. Be quiet.
Today, I’m going to peel back another layer of my psyche and share something that I’ve been holding onto for for a bit– grudges. Yes, it’s true. Despite the superwoman accolades that have been generously bestowed upon me over the years, I am undeniably human, complete with all the messy emotions that come with it.
I’ve often been the one, as a leader, to advise rising above negativity, to let go of grudges and embrace forgiveness. And believe me, I’ve genuinely tried to follow my own counsel. But there are moments when I find myself clinging to grudges. It’s almost as if they’ve become a secret part of my emotional baggage, stashed away in the corners of my mind.
Here’s my secret. Right now, I’m holding onto a major grudge, one that I had disavowed vehemently. Yup. I didn’t let ot go. Here it is, lingering like a stubborn guest who refuses to leave the party. Even when I place my broom upside down.
In fact, if I’m being completely honest, I’m holding onto more than just one grudge. It’s a confession that leaves me feeling a bit petty, not because of the grudges themselves, but because of my desire for others to know about the grudge without me having to say it. I want them to feel it. I need not have to tell them. That’s my second secret. I want them to know and feel it.
So, here’s one question: How do I get past these grudges? It’s a question that has confounded many, and I am no exception. Do I truly want to release these feelings of resentment, or is there a part of me that revels in the petty satisfaction of holding onto them?
It’s a complex web of emotions, isn’t it? As a psychologist, I’ve often delved into the intricacies of human nature, but when it comes to my own grudges, I find myself caught in a tangled mess. It’s a humbling reminder that none of us are immune to the quirks and contradictions of our own minds.
Thank you for being a part of this ongoing exploration of the human experience. I look forward to sharing more of my thoughts, even the messy ones, with you in the future.
Being human means embracing our flaws, our pettiness, and our capacity for growth.
Perhaps, by grudgingly sharing these two secrets with you, my dear comrades in arms, I can begin the process of unraveling the emotions that have kept me tethered to the past.
Categories: Culture, identity, Leadership, mental health, Psychology, society
psychologistmimi 
A Most Beautiful Part of A Free Dance And Song Dear Miriam
Is Expressing All of the Human Condition Dark Through
Light Yes in Song of Voice And Writing too Letting
Go of the DarK Embracing LiGHT Seeing the
Whole Page LiGHT Up With What YouR
SouL Has to Give to Our Dance And
SonG of LiFE WHere An Other Wise
Grudge May Become A Work of Art Instead
of Dark Stain on Our Souls Where Really The Enemies Owning Our
Feelings Become Poison to Our Well Being From Head to Toe of Mental
Health too Carrying On in All Our Other Relationships Yet i’m 100 Percent
Sure You Would ‘Never Kick The Dog’ Or Take it Out on Another Innocent of
The Offenses Yet so often that Happens too When Folks Hold On to the Grudges
of Discontent
And on Top of that
As i Look Back on my Life
On All the Bullies Who Wished
And Tried to Do me Harm ACross my Ages
What i See is Not Weakness Yet Great Strength
Coming From Overcoming That DarK Muse in LiFE
So NoW it is More Like BRinG iT On i’m in the Mood
To Write A Mood Poem Hehe And Sure i Will Deep into the
Ages of my Life Continue to Make Long Lost Enemies FRiEnDS of my
Art
DarK
Thru
LiGHT New
Love Your Enemies
Is Only Weight Lifting For the
Soul That Allows Us to Love
Our FRiEnDS Even More
In Understanding Their
Darknesses too Hehe
i Remember A FRiEnD
Who Hurt me So Badly i Calmly
Said Ouch That Feel Like A Knife
Twisting in my Gut And Then i Said
All that’s Left to Do is Forgive You
Typically the FRiEnD Who Is Willing to Forgive Most
is the Glue Who Holds The Human World Together Dear Miriam For Real
Indeed What the Unconditional Love of A Mother often Does for the most
Wayward
of Children
Back to the Path
oF LiGHT iN NiGHT
Out of the Shadows
of the Day to BREaTHE Free…
To Quote Batman’s Mentor in Paraphrase
A Vigilante is Only one Looking For Self Satisfaction
Mr Wayne if You Make Yourself More Than A Man
You Become Something Entirely Different Then as
Batman Asked What the Mentor Said Legend Mr Wayne…
Then No One Will Ever Be Able to Destroy the Good You Bring…
Hehe i Was the One Who Broke up Potential Fights of Drunken Sailors
at a Military Bowling Center For Decades When Church Groups Came in
Even Though i Hadn’t Been to Church in Over a Decade They Told me i
Was the Best Example of A Christian They Ever met on Earth Gift of the Mother
Yes
Gift of the Mother…
As Kind to ‘Them’
as My Mother Was to me…
With Her ABiLiTY to Forgive too
Common Archetype It’s Likely What Happened in the Story
Beyond the Myths Of Jesus ‘His Father’ Left Early And
His Mother Left Him With The Legacy of LoVE iN Peace
LoVE iN Peace Changes the World THere is only A Small
GLint of ‘Orange’
iN The Belly of
LoVE iN Peace
Yin And Yang
DarK iS LiGHT For Real..:)
LikeLike
Part of holding a grudge is the desire for justice, which is perfectly understandable. I have a guilty fantasy that part of the pleasure of growing old will be going to the funerals of people who’ve wronged me. But I probably won’t want to waste time in my day.
LikeLike
I have a couple of grudges that I can’t let go of no matter how hard I try, and one of those grudges is held against a person who died some years ago. I just accept they’re part of me, their painful roots so deeply imbedded in my psyche there’s no ripping them out, and go on…and try my best not to think about them. Not all things can be fixed.
LikeLike
Usually, holding a grudge only hurts the grudge holder. What would it take for you to give up the grudges? Imagine you’ve done that – and let them go if they won’t affect your future.
If they will, fix what you can. Holding the grudges means you’re not DOING anything to change the situation – so it must somehow be okay with you.
Change yourself for your own sake, if you can find a way to, or a professional can. Like so many things, grudges waste YOUR psychic energy – which you can probably find better uses for.
Or not: keep them and used them for blog post matter.
LikeLike
Perhaps holding the grudge makes the grudge holder feel better? Maybe it makes them feel superior to the target. Maybe it has been incorporated as a type of psychological trauma, like PTSD but only towards a particular person. Maybe letting go is painful because it also means letting go of potential vengeance.
LikeLike
All very legitimate questions for consideration:-)
LikeLike
It is so hard to let go. Good luck:)
LikeLike