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If someone treats you badly, it’s probably something wrong with them

I am a bit of a silly person. I am still often surprised when people do bad things. I am still in shock, at times, when people show no shame and no compassion. I often ask myself how do people walk around this earth doing bad things? I get angry about it. But I am told to ignore it. I am told (advised) to box it in. Yet, that makes me sadder and angrier. Why should we have to tolerate bad behavior?

I do, at times, check my own history and behaviors and wonder if I set in motion another person’s horribleness. However, I need to remind myself that the bad behaviors of others are their own doing. There’s something wrong with them. Even if they feel righteous in their wrongdoing, they are not free of culpability. And, we should make sure to hold said people accountable. Forget about boxing it in. If you do box it in, you allow that bad behavior to continue in a vicious circle. If you have a chance to stop it, do otit. And, remember their bad behavior is about them.

3 replies »

  1. Well, no. Not probably something wrong. Definitely something unskillful.

    Buddhist advice is not to get angry or to box bad behaviour in. Instead be curious and see if there is something to learn.

    Ask the unpleasant person directly. “That’s interesting- why would you say or do that ?”.

    Usually causes them to pause and have a think about their crappy behaviour.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Holding anyone accountable is hard and takes a lot of energy. They don’t like it. They squirm and try to get out of being accountable.

    If possible, and it doesn’t affect the vulnerable, the innocent, or the nation – walk away.


  3. I’ve noticed that often, so-called “bad behavior” is based on misunderstanding a situation, either by them or by me.

    If there is an opportunity to clarify the misunderstanding, it helps both people grow. Often the chance for clarification is lost in the heat of the moment.


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