identity

Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option

I love making lists. I love to-do lists. I love putting easy wins on my to-do lists, i.e. brush hair. I can feel quite accomplished by putting together such lists. One thing, I admittedly do badly, is prioritize what is on that list. I figure I can alternate between easy items and hard ones. But prioritization? I can do that a bit better. Actually, that is true of most people.

People, surprisingly, don’t know how to prioritize. My simple answer when asked on that as a boss is to prioritize that for which others are waiting or needing you to complete that item. That sounds simple. Now let’s get out of kitchen chores and work projects.

Let’s go to the interpersonal. I don’t know how to readily advise people on how to prioritize other people in their lives. What I can say to the person who isn’t prioritized, who feels neglected or taken for granted, that at some point you have to prioritize yourself. If you are what appears to be an “option” why sweat and fuss in this situation? Don’t prioritize someone who just considers you – or treat you like- an option.

Simple rule. There are too many things that need our attention. Too many tugging at our sleeves. Too many send an outrageous number of status check inquiries. You can’t do it all. You can’t be everyone’s savior either no matter how much of a nice person you are. No matter how much of a giver you are. Sometimes you just have to say “I can try but just may not be able to get to that at the moment”. The same holds true for those you are in some kind of personal relationship, i.e. sister, uncle, partner, etc. Of course if it’s mom or the dog, those are always prioritized. That’s another simple rule.

9 replies »

  1. As someone recently stated on YouTube, in a “Dog eat Dog world” you can see why a person like yourself will deal this way. – The Sage

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “Toto, i Don’t Think We
    Are in Kansas Anymore”
    Lesson of Course Home
    Is Where We Find Warmth,
    Or Creativity, Or Excitement
    Or Fear, Discontent, And Overall
    Misery And Suffering True i Choose The
    To Do List Of the First Three However i Experienced
    The Last Three of this To Do List of Six Enough For 66 Months
    of The Worst Pain Known to Humankind Type Two Trigeminal Neuralgia
    As A Shut-in in my Bedroom or Facing A Privacy Fence in a Parking Lot at
    Walmart As Somehow i Endured
    The Pain and Numb
    of A Synergy in Life
    Threat of 19 Medical
    Disorders for 66 Months
    of Shut-in Pain And Numb
    To Get My Wife to Walmart Long
    Enough in Hell Sitting in That Car
    in All Weathers of Cold and Heat
    to Get the Necessities of Life Meanwhile
    It Was surely the Life of A Hunchback of Notre-Dame
    And Or the Phantom of the Opera Where Distantly Somewhere
    in another Lifetime i was once a Real Part of the Play of Life then…
    What the Extremes of Hell and Heaven in Life Teach me Best are Two
    Wisdoms in Life And Those Are Put People First And Don’t Expect Anything
    From Anyone Else When You Walk in Enough Shoes in Life to See So Many
    Places
    From
    DarK to LiGHT
    The Human Condition
    Comes and Goes Away
    in One Life Now as the Air Force
    Psychiatrist A Reserves Major Who
    Tried His Best to Help Folks With Combat
    Fatigue From the Desert Wars Back in those (Circa 2008-
    2013) Days Said i Was the Most Hopeless Case of A Human
    Being For Any
    Potential to
    Come
    Back to Life
    Even Wanting to
    Implant An Experimental
    Vagal Nerve Stimulator in
    my Chest to try to Bring Back
    Some Kind of Human Feelings to me
    Yet of Course the Insurance Wouldn’t Cover
    it or the Trans-Magnetic-Cranial Stimulation that
    Modern Psychiatry Also Uses to Jump Start Humans
    Back to Life
    Oh How Many Places
    The Human Soul Will Go
    Oh What the REAL DEVIL LEARNS
    IN REAL HELL ON EARTH OF WHAT
    IT REALLY MEANS TO HAVE THE GIFT
    OF EMPATHY AND COMPASSION FOR EVERYONE
    ELSE NO MATTER WHO THEY ARE AS YOU COME FROM
    THE LOWEST
    OF ALL
    IN DANTE’S
    RINGS OF HELL
    THAT ONLY PROVE
    THERE IS NO BOTTOM
    OF THE PIT OF HUMAN HELL
    THERE IS ALWAYS A STEP LOWER TO GO
    Yet in a way there is balance as in heaven on earth
    a real earth angel will rise forevermore now too inhaling
    peace exhaling love as the devil finds real redemption in life
    and suddenly all the myths and metaphors of global cross-cultural
    sacred texts truly make common sense as it always just angels and
    demons on earth describing what real life will bring from heaven to hell
    It’s easy For Real
    Devils in HeLL ON EartH
    to Put People First Every Last
    one of them as they understand
    if they found redemption out of hell
    there is room for everyone else to live again for real…
    Yet of Course That’s Not Rational and of Course Life’s Not
    Rational That’s A Delusion We try to Impose on DarK and LiGHT
    So We Won’t Be
    Afraid of the
    Dark
    until we meet
    our other maker…
    And Finally Really get
    to rise and offer a lift at
    least to everyone we meet in life
    Thing About REALLY Being Free is it scares
    enough People where You tend to never
    get overwhelmed with requests for help
    as True Freedom is as rare as figuring out
    There is no real difference between dark and light…
    Once the
    Valley Becomes
    the Mountain there
    is no where
    to fall
    or rise
    You arrive
    and all that’s
    Left to do is give,
    share, care, and heal
    at least for putting people first…
    Yes, yes, yes, almost impossible
    to do until we are really free of all
    the other Insanities that Modern Cultures
    Clothe us With in So Many Layers That it’s
    impossible
    to see
    Where
    We Are not now…
    On the Other Hand
    Being able to See this
    Lends the ability not to
    have any expectations
    of returns from other folks…
    With at Least Enough Compassion,
    And Empathy to Never Give Up on others as ‘You’
    are the One Who Managed not to give up on ‘me’….
    It’s So Very Difficult to Put the Human Condition in Words
    Some Days Perhaps You Need A Painting Like ‘Scream’
    Or A Mother
    And Child
    of Hugs
    For Real
    to See the
    Human Extremes…
    Yet It’s So Hard to
    Describe the Place
    Even Demons Fear to
    Tread Dante barely scratched
    the surface of below above at all…
    What’s Common About Hell and Heaven
    is in Both Places You Have to Pinch Yourself
    to Believe It’s Real…
    Or Take Plenty
    of Photos to
    Prove You
    Really Went to Heaven…
    It’s Not something you do in hell…
    Nope, No Selfies or Smiles in hell…
    And As Hard as You Might Want to
    Reach Out and Touch Someone or
    Yourself And Really Touch Life there
    isn’t even a Reference Point Back to
    a Feeling of A Smile So Much Worse
    than the assessed Worst Pain known
    to Humankind the Suicide Disease
    Literally assessed as worse than
    crucifixion from wake to sleep
    for 66 Months
    A Smile is Everything
    The Feeling of A Smile is Heaven
    Something Perhaps only once bitten
    Real Devils
    Understand
    No Longer
    Shy Now,
    SMiLes,
    Putting SMiLes
    First and Last… SMiLes…
    Other than that Your Posts are
    Always Very Inspiring it’s only been
    An Honor that you allow me this free rental space in your
    Blog Home in California and New York to rent free to just
    flow my soul for the Last 3 Years or so and It’s true in this way
    A Best
    FRiEnD
    may be
    no Friend at all
    in returns as such
    so Ironically so as
    there is Never any
    expectations at all…
    It’s True it’s a Peaceful easy feeling
    And it Never Gets Messy it Never gets
    Messy at
    all…
    And an
    Option
    i Choose Everyday
    As An Always to Do..:)

    Like

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