Can positivity be toxic and dark?

Pep talks can irk a few. The pushing of hope may lead some to bury negativity until it bubbles up. Bubbly, smiley nods somewhat dismissing the challenges of the moment.

I was going to say I hate pep talks. But, assuredly, there is a time and place for that. However, there are times when pep talks don’t cut it and have an opposite effect. Believe it or not, positivity can at times be toxic. Personally, I rather be a sunny person. However, I do know and acknowledge when positivity is a bit too much. And, that’s not a great thing to be overheard saying.

Here’s how some view toxic positivity. It can consist of dismissing negative emotions and providing false reassurances rather than empathy. Emitting positivity is not necessarily meant to be mean-spirited or dismissive. It is often well-intentioned but can create a dynamic of feeling disconnected. It can feel inauthentic. But then again inauthenticity is embedded through the social fabric of our lives. Maybe instead of my sunny self, I’m just being a bit of a curmudgeon.

6 replies »

  1. It is very annoying. I call it positivity mania. First of all, positive and negative don’t exist. These are values. There’s also something called reality, which is what really happens despite the values we attach to it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. SMiLes In Life There Are Wrenches
    There Are Guitars And Some Days Most

    Sadly Guitars Without Strings

    Oh How Hard it is to Be A Guitar
    Without Strings All that Lovely Music
    Once Played And Gone All Gone into the

    Void The Whole of the Instrument With No Sound At All

    Yet the Wrenches Have Difficulty Understanding As They’ve
    Only Been A Tool Neither Instrument of Music With or Without Strings

    Oh Lord When i Was A Young in Numbers
    Man A Military Woman i was ‘Involved’
    With Said i Touched Her ‘Heart Strings’

    And i Was ‘Smart’ Enough to
    ‘Think’; Yes, Think, Instead of

    HeART FeeL iT Had Something
    To Do With ‘The Physical’ Instead

    of Words Expressing The Deepest
    of Feelings Within Beyond All Discrete Measure

    And at That Point i Had Forgotten i Ever Had Strings to
    Play At All For It’s True How That Song “The Way We Were”

    Touched me So Much in High School As a Virgin With A Crush
    on the Smart

    Girl 3 Years
    Older Than
    me in the “Nerd Club” Then…

    i Suppose the Moral oF A STory
    is Our Souls Don’t Always Evolve
    Toward Higher Love Powers As Environment

    Counts So Much And It’s True if You Work With A Bunch

    Of Wrenches At Work Chances Are Someone Will Say Suck

    It Up Buttercup It’s Not That Bad We’ve Got Work to Do Now

    So Pull Those Bootstraps Up Even if We Are Speaking About

    The Very Robust Looking Homeless Dude on the Street

    Hearing 100 Voices In His Head Instructing Him

    Differently What to Do Next… And Yeah

    When i Lost All my Emotions Entering

    Into 66 Months of Hell of the
    Worst Pain Known to
    Humankind And

    Lost With No
    Reference Point
    if i Ever Felt A Smile Before

    Oh How i Gnashed my Teeth
    in the Once Living Room Sitting
    With my Mother And Wife Shiny
    Happy People They Still Were And

    There Was No Way Out of the Opaque
    Glass Around my Soul Trying To Remember

    What it Felt Like to Be A Shiny Happy Person Before…

    Lost, Lost in a Vast Space With No Measure A Pit Below With No

    Bottom or Top As Recently i Was Defending the Lives of Lesbian
    Women Buried to Their Chest in Saudi Arabia And Stoned And Saying

    i Don’t Believe in Any God of All Mercy, Forgiveness, And Love That Burns
    Any Part of Creation Forever in Torture And Misery and Suffering Because

    They Were Naughty in this One Life to Live It’s true There Are Days to Smile

    And There Are Days to Stand Up With Back Bone And Say NO As It’s True

    It’s A Big Mistake

    For Anyone

    To Mistake
    my Smile Now

    As Not Having
    Teeth As It’s True
    The Dentist Said
    i Have Some of the
    Biggest Teeth He’s Ever Seen, Hehe…

    And This is Why i Smile Now my Teeth Are Just too Big to Hide…

    No Different Really Than Rain Drops Keep Falling on my Head With

    Feet Too

    Big For A Bed…

    Look Around i Do
    Life is A Struggle
    And Night Makes Day

    And Dark Makes Light

    Elon Musk Recently Said
    One Day Robots Will Do All the
    Work And We Humans Will Have
    All Abundance For Whatever We Want

    Yeah, Like When my Relative Inherited 80,000
    Dollars And It Went Up Her Nose And She Ended Up

    Dead And So Many Other Relatives of Other Relatives
    of People Who Have Never Learned How to Be Naked
    Enough Whole And Complete Without Any Cocaine (etc) Levers

    Wrench to Press…

    Is There Even Any Room
    In This World Left to Smile…
    i Make Room As i’ve Lived in the Other Place
    too Yep So Far Away From the Other Park Bench in The Desert…

    More And Less We LiVE iN A World Now Increasingly Where there
    is No Time Left For The Human Condition to Even Breathe Freely

    And Sunshine
    Fully in Tow Expressing
    All Of Who We May Come


    No Place
    To Hide When Free..:)


  3. The last paragraph describes the toxic positivity that I often endured when I was a kid.  Sharing fear or anger with some people was a way to get bludgeoned with cheery platitudes, not to get constructive suggestions.


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