For the past two weeks, I have had the Spanish phrase “mala fe” running through my daily consciousness. Popping up in my interactions with a select group of people. The phrase could literally be translated as bad faith. However, it means more that someone bears you ill will. And, that is what I have been staring in the eye of a select few. And, it is not so much that these individuals hate me. I do not believe that to be the case. They just aren’t as happy about my happiness as I am. And, that is a bit exhausting for me.
I’m happy to see the beautiful foliage. The greenery all around me fills me with glee. Yet, a few of my California friends keep asking me how I’m handling the cold weather. I’m handling it just fine as it is not cold yet. It’s brisk. But I’m not wrapped up in a parka. I am just happily taking in the green, yellow, and orange leaves.
I’m happy to be reconnecting with some of my old work. I’m happy to be the new chair of a committee in the public health field. I’m happy to be planning how to do all this. Yet, a few have given me some looks signaling I shouldn’t so happily talk about all these new things happening in my life. Sure, I’m moving on from some things and that may lead some to wonder about their own steps. However, that shouldn’t mean I need to censor myself. Yet, some may desire that.
I’m not going to try to make anyone feel bad. I don’t need to push others down to prop myself up. I just want to show my happiness and be happy with that. I promise I won’t be irrationally exuberant.