Secrets are currency. Gossip is currency. Whispers at a watercooler can be currency. People engage in old-school bartering of secrets and gossip. Some people use secrets to solidify relationships or get new relationships started. Secrets are bonding agents. Can be superglue in some instances. And these secrets are not always deep. They can be quite silly, as a matter of fact. And, these silly secrets can take up much of your mental bandwidth and barter potential.
The other day I got an early morning phone call from someone who wanted to run something past me. First off, when someone wants to do such a thing they havd already decided what to do. Don’t fall for it and go in hard with thoughtful advice. Listen, nod, and encourage them to do what they think is best. It’s a mental health win-win. I promise you I am not super jaded. Just wise. I listened intently to this individual who called and I agreed and encouraged them to do what they were hoping to do. They felt good. I felt good. Then, this individual stated “but don’t tell anyone. Let’s keep this between us”. I took that seriously. I can be a secret vault. I have enough currency that I didn’t need to share this. Besides I liked this person and wouldn’t betray their confidence. But most importantly it was a very silly secret that I just did not understand why it needed to be a secret. It would be the equivalent of me telling someone to keep secret that I’m changing my nail polish color from purple to orange. But then again maybe someone would be able to mine that for valuable psychological input into my state of mind.
I promised to keep the secret. But apparently there had been no real need to do so. Later on, I received various forms of inquiries as to whether person x was truly going to enact behavior z. I tilted my head and wondered why I had been sworn to secrecy if they had gone ahead and told many others. Was I being tested? Was I being paranoid? I decided to keep my mouth shut. But there are others out there who do this very thing. They make you promise not to tell while they are busy broadcasting it themselves. I suppose it’s their prerogative. But this is why you shouldn’t get too invested when someone tries to run something by you. Listen, nod, and encourage them to do what they had planned to do. Also, seek out some youtube acting lesson videos. It will go a long way towards keeping your sanity.