childhood

Can’t expect it to be perfect on the first day

Pack, pack, and pack some more. While packing and doing more packing, I have to sort out like 100 other things at the moment. When did life get so hectic and complicated? I’ve got physical therapy, I’ve got regular work and then I have work work. On top of which, I’ve offered to help about four other people with certain aspects of personal challenges. 

I’m trying to help my sister, for instance, change jobs and move out to California. This entails, resume editing, job searches and just general encouragement. It’s not hard to do any of that. And I can. And I want to. She’s my sister. That’s the easiest of all those other challenges. On top of all that I keep trying to remain healthy. I exercise and exercise some more. 

By 9pm I want to zombie out. Just stare into nothingness and not think. So much can change so quickly. I’ve been experiencing psychological whiplash for weeks now. 

Speaking of whiplash, just as I was entering the crosswalk, a car accident happened a few feet from me. I so it as if it were all in slow motion. It was a very eerie experience. I saw one car stop short, another not notice and crash into the other. The second driver was in shock. His face hit the air bags really hard. I looked around wondering if I was needed. I stood there in slight shock. Everything turned out ok. But for ine second there, I thought about how there is such fragility of life all around us. 
After leaving my friend’s hospital bedside, I was feeling a bit sad wondeting what that path would look like.  I went back home and worked on plans and timelines for a hundred different tasks.  Then, I had to pinch myself. My house move was going to happen. It was ok. My son’s birthday would be joyous. This big upcoming work event would turn out well. I just need a few hours to get my speech ready. I know I can speak with passion and facts. Whew. Breathe. But back to my house. I doesn’t have to be perfect on day one.  It doesn’t even have to be pretty. The love in the house will help it grow and become our home.  

As such, I looked down the hallway of our current apartment building and fondly remembered my son running like a happy go lucky boy. Wherever, we are, we are a family and that’s happiness. 

8 replies »

  1. Have you seen a chicken settling into a nesting box or a dog into its basket? They never get in, sit down and that’s it – there’s always a fair amount of turning around, fluffing of feathers, arranging and rearranging before it’s all good. Moving is the same. It’s good to get the basics out and in place, but the rest can wait until you know what the best spots are, where the sun moves during the day, where the nice views are. Even then it might all be rearranged as the seasons change. What’s ‘perfect’, anyway? Enjoy settling in and don’t get too stressed.

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  2. All the best with all of that! Yes, life can get hectic, at times….
    Breath, breath and breath. Then tell yourself that nothing, no, nothing at all will phase you! A little ‘fake it before you make it’ may be needed here… Hahaaaa… 🙂

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  3. What is it I’ve heard? “Plan like you’re going to live for ever and live like it’s your last day on earth. Or something to that effect. Oh here’s one from high school. My history teacher had this poster with a mouse looking at a giant piece of cake-“Always take on more than you can do, or you will never do as much as you can.”

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