Ever since I was a little girl, I liked being a contrarian. I liked talking. I was a chatterbox. And I liked countering people. Thus, I was maybe a bit much to take as a kid but my mother managed to turn my chatterbox nature into a plus. As a result, it shouldn’t surprise me then that my son is the same way. He is quite the chatterbox. Just one greeting to him will get him going on a long diatribe regarding video games. But in terms of being contrary, what kid isn’t a contrarian? Sure, there are “good” obedient kids out there, but a little questioning from a child is actually an awesome thing. I get a kick out of my son questioning and countering my points. I don’t see him becoming an attorney, as he is more likely to be an actor, but its good to have a question and a comeback. He is a New Yorker, afterall. The snark is in his DNA in more ways than one.
Ah, I love that boy. But that is not what this bit is about today. So, let me get to that.
I like to eat. I can often eat a lot of calories in one meal. It can astound some people. Even waitrssses have, at times, tried to dissuade me from my orders. What gets to them is that I am petite. Which often leads to some people, annoyingly, conjecturing that I must have a really fast metabolism. To which I must object. I have an extremely slow metabolism. I am cosntantly fighting against my DNA and natural body type. What gives? I work out. I exercise a lot. I do the elliptical, pilates and leg presses. I also walk a lot. Well, I did before when I lived in New York. I take anywhere between 10,500 and 20,000 steps each day.
What I have found, however, is that people do not like to hear that I work out a lot. They rather that I have some mysterious super-fast metabolism or a tapeworm. I sometimes get very nasty looks when I tell those indviduals that ask about my eating habits that I work out so that I can eat. Actually, I get them quite often. So, this what I am thinking.
I am going to tell individuals going forward that I partake in the donut diet. I will state that four days out of the week, I have a donut for each meal and nothing else. And that in turn cleanses out my system. The other three days, I will state that I eat just one donut with regular food. Too silly? Perhaps. But I bet some people would believe it. Something so bizarre would help people feel better for the fact that I eat a ton and remain petitte. That way, I don’t have to mention my hours of exercise and the number of steps that I take each day. And I won’t get the nasty looks. I will just be seen as an odd dieter. Lets see how far I can get with this bit…