Some people join a gym. Some people download a fitness app. And apparently, some people commit crimes and accidentally enter an endurance competition.

A 51-year-old man in Windsor, England, recently led police on what officers dubbed the “Great Windsor Triathlon.” The itinerary? Steal a bicycle, ride it, abandon it, jump into the River Thames, swim across, and then continue running from police.

That’s right. Bike. Swim. Run.

At this point, I’m not sure whether to call the police or his personal trainer.

The chase reportedly lasted about an hour, involved a police boat, and ended with the exhausted man finally surrendering. He subsequently pleaded guilty to several offenses.

But psychologically, I have questions.

What level of commitment does it take to decide that swimming across a river is preferable to simply stopping? Is this fight-or-flight on steroids? Was there a moment when he thought, “Well, I’ve already stolen the bike, might as well get my cardio in”?

We talk about avoidance as a psychological defense mechanism. Some people avoid difficult conversations. Others avoid their responsibilities. And then there’s someone who apparently avoids the police by completing three separate athletic disciplines.

Perhaps there’s a lesson here about misplaced motivation. Imagine channeling that determination into something productive. A marathon. A career. Maybe even a gym membership that doesn’t involve law enforcement.

I’m all for physical fitness, but I generally prefer my exercise to be voluntary, my bicycles legally acquired, and my swimming pools free of police boats.

The moral of the story? You can run from your problems, but apparently, you can also swim from them. Just don’t expect that to count as a healthy coping strategy.