Scientists believe there may be planets beyond our solar system where life is more abundant and sustainable than on Earth. Imagine! Worlds where life has figured out how to thrive.

Meanwhile, here on Earth, we can’t agree on healthcare, keep a straight face during a staff meeting, or get through the day without resetting a password.

Naturally, my first thought is: How much more habitable are we talking? Better weather? Universal healthcare? No spam calls? A planet where people actually put their shopping carts back?

Because as a psychologist, I have questions about the mental health of a species willing to travel light-years to find a better home. We’re already exhausted, and we haven’t even left the neighborhood.

Would I volunteer to go? I’m intrigued. I love travel. I’ve been to all 50 states. But there’s a difference between exploring a new destination and boarding a spaceship with no Marriott points, no return ticket, and absolutely no idea what the locals eat.

And what if the aliens are annoying?

Earth may be a mess, but at least I understand the social norms, know where to get dinner, and can complain in a language everyone ignores equally.

So, scientists, keep looking. Find us a planet with a sustainable ecosystem, intelligent life, and excellent room service.

I’ll consider relocating.

But I’m going to need to see the reviews first.