Children

Adult Pacifiers and Other Modern Coping Mechanisms



I recently stumbled upon an article (and I use the term news generously these days) about adults using pacifiers to calm themselves down.

Adult. Pacifiers.

Pause.

Now listen! I actually get the impulse. We are living in times that feel like a constant low-grade alarm bell. Everyone is triggered, activated, overstimulated. Nervous systems are doing the absolute most. So yes, I understand the desire to self-soothe. Put your hand on your chest. Take a breath. Tap it out. Regulate like the emotionally evolved beings we are all trying, and sometimes failing, to become.

But a pacifier?

I have questions.

Maybe this is where my own history sneaks in. I didn’t use a pacifier with my son. I breastfed for over 16 months while working, which in itself felt like an Olympic sport with no medal and just a lot of side-eye from strangers and the occasional logistical crisis.

And let me be clear:l. I don’t judge other mothers. Not even a little. If anything, I have felt judged for doing things the way I did. Motherhood, as it turns out, is less a supportive village and more a panel of silent critics holding up scorecards.

So no, this is not about judgment.

It’s more about curiosity. And maybe a tiny bit of bewilderment.

Because here’s what I know.  Life will keep coming. The stressors don’t politely stop at infancy. They evolve. They get more sophisticated, more layered, more existential. A pacifier, metaphorical or otherwise, can only go so far.

At some point, we have to build internal tools. Real ones. The kind that don’t fall out of our mouths when things get uncomfortable.

Breathing. Movement. Boundaries. Perspective. The deeply unsexy work of emotional regulation.

And yet who am I to judge?

If someone finds comfort in something that soothes them, in a world that feels increasingly jagged, maybe that says less about them and more about the intensity of the moment we’re all living in.

Still, I can’t help but think that we deserve coping mechanisms that meet us where we are now, not ones that take us back to where we started.

Be gentle with mothers. Be gentle with people. Everyone is doing something to get through.

But also maybe keep the pacifiers in retirement.

Just a thought.

1 reply »

  1. Human Avenues to the Warm Healing
    The Social Bonding Love Neurohormone
    Oxytocin Brings in Terms of Healing Stress Anxiety

    And Yes even
    Remediating
    The Impacts of Pain

    Dear Miriam

    True instead of Adult Pacifiers
    ‘They’ Could Go The Route of
    Istanbul and Make Warm and
    Fuzzy Cats Heroes to Roam the

    Streets Bringing Comfort to Passerby’s
    So Far Away From Warm And Fuzzy Healing

    Comfort Even Closer
    Much Closer in Warm
    Touch Than Instagram
    Favorite Furry Cat Pics
    to Warm the Human Soul

    How About Replacing Adult Pacifiers
    With “How’s the Weather” True though
    Not Unlike Even Hero Cats those Humans
    Who May Have Been neglected and abused
    By Parents and Peers in Childhood Through Adulthood

    May Yikes!
    Never Have
    Even Developed
    the Proper Human
    ‘Wiring’ Yep in Real
    Flesh and Blood to Feel
    The Core of This Humanity
    Healing Love Hormone for Real

    Or Perhaps They Were Just Born
    ‘Frozen’ This Way With No Way out
    of the Human Freezer of Soul True ‘Life isn’t Fair’

    Like the Lion King’s Nemesis ‘Scar’ Replied to the
    Little Mouse Some Humans Feast on Warm Loving

    Comfort their
    Entire Life
    Giving it
    Away free
    Like the Street
    Cat Heroes in Istanbul

    And Others Fight for Scraps
    Just Hoping for some kind of

    Pacifier

    Relief

    On the Other Hand
    The Human Condition
    isn’t particularly Rational

    As Folks Also Bond and Bind
    Warmly over ‘Gladiator Fights’
    Celebrating National Milestone
    Existence Events With Only ‘Transphobia’
    And “Racism” Over Those Who are Truly

    Human
    And
    Warmly
    Suitable
    For a Statue
    Of Living Flesh
    And Blood Liberty For Real

    For it is True When Love is Real
    When Freedom is Real Humanity
    Embraces All With Loving Arms of Stars

    “WE GO HIGH WHEN THEY GO LOW” WE FLY!

    When i was the Living Dead in the Dead Zone
    There Was No Pacifier for me to Possibly Work
    As True i Lost the Organic Flesh and Blood Wiring

    Just Patiently Waiting every second of a Thousand

    Years in Hell
    For 66 Months
    In The Darkest
    of That ‘Route
    66’ to 66 Now
    to Feel Human
    Again with Warm
    SMiLes to Give Away for Free

    Like Talking About the Weather
    With Every Stranger and Fist Bumping
    Them for the Strength of Soul Still to come for real

    now
    hehe
    among
    Other Topics
    Short and Long too
    As a Comet Tale Indeed…

    Or Just another Day in the Life
    of a 23,922 Mile Public Dance
    Where the Lady in the Next
    Register Over at Walmart Last
    Night Said Thank You as the Dance

    Brought
    Her Disgruntled
    Child Happy Smiles
    for Happy Feet for Real
    Sailing Across Smooth Store
    Dance Floors as another Child
    Related me as Elsa the Ice Princess
    Recovering With Dance in the Movie ‘Frozen’

    Oh hehe how easily Children See the ‘Beauty’ in the ‘Beast’

    For the
    Color of
    Love the
    Essence
    of Warm Human
    Life that lifts instead of tearing down…

    Just Another Free Cat on the Streets of Istanbul

    in America

    For Real

    For What i See
    As Life Liberty
    And The Pursuit of Warm SMiLes for All

    True there are the Poetic Responses of
    A “SonG of mY SoUL” Now Measuring
    15.8 MiLLioN Words Also in 153 Months
    While Resting my Dancing Happy Feet Yet

    That is a much longer Global Tale to relate

    Yet Nope Never Four Score and Seven Years
    of Age In Hell Nevermore Yet Evermore at 66 now…

    ‘Seagull’ Even
    Lifting ‘Ravens’

    i am no Rubber
    Or Trimmed With
    Faux Gold Pacifier hehe..:)

    Like

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