Ah, weather—everyone has their favorite. Some folks thrive in the winter wonderland, others bask in the summer sun like lizards on a hot rock. But me? I’ve had to do some serious thinking on this. Let’s break it down, shall we?

Spring? Forget it. Sure, the flowers are pretty, but they come with a price. For me, it’s a symphony of sneezes, red noses, and watery eyes. I sneeze so hard I practically lift off the ground. Not the best look for someone trying to pretend they have their life together.

Winter? Oh no, no, no. I’m not built for cold. The wind hits, and I wrinkle like a raisin. I spend 80% of winter just trying to thaw out. Layering is cute for about two days, but after that, I look like a walking duvet. And don’t get me started on the static electricity—it’s like I’m a walking Van de Graaff generator.

Summer? Now, summer has its appeal. Short dresses, flip-flops, sunshine. I’m all for it… until I overheat and suddenly I’m dealing with heat rashes like they’re trying to take over my body. So, while I love showing off a cute summer wardrobe, I’m also perpetually wondering if I should just walk around in an ice bath.

So, what am I left with? Autumn. Glorious, swagger-filled autumn. Crisp air, no sweating, no freezing, and the colors! Who doesn’t love a good explosion of reds, oranges, and yellows? I can layer in the right amount of clothes without looking like the Michelin Man. I can walk with a certain confidence, knowing I won’t melt or freeze halfway through my day. I’m not sneezing, I’m not overheating, and I’ve got that cool fall breeze to keep things just right.

Autumn gives me swagger. It’s like the weather equivalent of putting on your favorite leather jacket and knowing you look good. It’s my Goldilocks season: not too hot, not too cold, just right.

So there you have it. If you see me strutting down the street in autumn, know that’s my peak season. The air’s crisp, I’m not wrinkling or sneezing, and I’m owning the sidewalk.