I need a break. A break from binge-watching, doomscrolling, the endless snow, doing everyone’s laundry, gummy bears (I mean, how many can one person eat?), and my oddly comforting habit of rocking my legs back and forth. Yet, here I am, still doing all of it, day in and day out. My restless legs won’t let me quit. Neither will my restless mind.

It’s a weird cycle. I tell myself to stop binge-watching—just one episode, then I’ll turn off the screen—but before I know it, I’m six episodes deep into a murder mystery, and doomscrolling on my phone during the slow parts. The dopamine hit from Twitter’s endless parade of negativity keeps me coming back, even though I’ve seen enough bad news for a lifetime.

And let’s talk about the laundry. Why does it never end? Seriously. I do a load, feel accomplished for about five minutes, and then I turn around, and there’s another pile staring me down. Like the snow outside, it keeps coming. I think it’s mocking me.

Now, throw in the gummy bears—my sugary little comfort—and I realize I’ve been using them as fuel to keep up with all these distractions. My restless legs bounce to their own rhythm, keeping time with my screen addiction and laundry tumbles. No matter how much I want to pause, my body and brain seem to have their own ideas.

I need a break, yes. But who’s going to tell my brain to stop seeking that next mental fix, or my legs to just chill? For now, I guess I’ll keep riding this rollercoaster of motion, candy, and media chaos, hoping that somewhere in all of it, I’ll find my pause button.