identity

Six months of daily contemplations

Today marks six straight months of everyday writing. My previous record was ober 1,800 days. Then stuff happened. It’s ok. My world didn’t shatter because I took off a few days here and there. I do have to admit, it can make one a bit anxious if you miss a day of writing. I suppose it’s become akin to eating. Actually, I could with a fast here or there.

Now that I’m here, let me think about what I have to say today. Everyday, I have an opinion, feeling or insight to share. Today, I am slightly sluggish from my vacation. It’s as if once you land and return from your escape, you need a pair of jumper cables to rev up your mind engine.

For the sake of one’s healthy self, we should be given a vacation day for having taken a vacation. You go away and it takes a while to get into the rhythm of being away. Sometimes, you still get work calls and emails and makes you wonder why you bothered to even try to get away. Then, you ease into your vacation and feel more at ease. Then a sense of unease bubbles up as you realize the vacation time is ending soon.

Sigh. Vacations! What are they ever good for? I exaggerate. I’m happy to have gotten away. Maybe too happy. Now, I just wish I could be away again and again.

2 replies »

  1. Yes, the compulsion to write diaries can be somewhat addictive! However, the ritual also provides structure and a depth of intimacy no human being can provide. It is often in crisis moments when we embark on the journey into the labyrinth of the self. A nervous breakdown 35 years ago marked the beginning of a pile of insightful snippets, short stories and confessions. Some of those diaries have become unreadable, some got lost, and fire devoured some. The golden hours of the early morning, the time to harvest, fleeting thoughts or overheard conversations, are now reflected in solitude. I also go away now and then to take a break from the ritual of gathering my emotional and rational experiences. Over the years, I came to understand occasional, you must give it a rest and not milk the cow to death.

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