For a decade I was constantly traveling. I got used to folding my clothes tightly and being able to always do carry-on no matter how long the trip. I knew which lanes. I knew which Starbucks was better. I also knew very well that your trip could get off to a bad start if you came across a TSA agent who was having a bad day. You learn to scope that out from a few feet back. Then I just got tired of the constant travel hustle and bustle.

Then the pandemic hit. Travel was for a little while actually better. Less people. More space. Forget about the bad air. Now we still have covid but people are back to traveling. Less space. Still bad air. Even less services and perks. Bah humbug.

I just knew I was going to have problems on this quick Texas trip. The morning of my return to New York City, I kept looking st my phone to see whether my flight was delayed or worsr. And, just as I had checked out of my hotel I got notice that my direct flight was cancelled. Hurredly, I was able to get on a flight to Dallas. But that was it for good luck. We board our flight and we pull out from the gate. Then we wait. And we wait. First, it was a groundstop in NYC. Then they had no spaces at which to land. We waited. Then just as we were to return to the gate where everyone would eventually turn into monsters, the pilot revved up the engines and we took off. Then just as we should be about 30 minutes from landing, we all start to notice we were circling. We had to stay up in the air for an additional 40 minutes. At which point the pilot, bewilderingly told us, that we’d have to see what we were going to do. Hih? How about land the plane? Then we do make it to NYC, but the airbridge wasn’t functioning. It was a new gate that wasn’t even on the airport map. Huh? Were we just in the television show Lost? I honestly don’t know whether I’m really here? Where’s the dog? Then to top it all off, we waited 45 minuted for an Uber to pick us up. By then, it did feel a bit overwhelming.

When I finally made it home, I had to sit on the couch and do nothing. I just stared into the dark space, occasionally grunting. I had devolved. Please someone get me a working teleportation device.