identity

Bloody fingers and my spicy taste buds

This may be a bit of an odd story. But here it goes. Have you ever watched a moonbeam? No. Me either. I don’t even know what that question is about. Now, have you ever looked down and seen that your fingers are all bloody? I bet a few of you have. There’s nothing nefarious here, really.

See, I just looked down and saw that two of my fingers are bleeding. I didn’t cut myself. I didn’t get my hand caught in something. I didn’t carry any unwieldy item. I simply bit my fingers. Gross. Yes, I am one of those people. As long as I can remember I have been biting my nails. It’s how I came to like spicy food. Weird, right? My mom used to put tabasco sauce on my nails in the hope of discouraging me from biting my nails. Didn’t work. I just ended up liking spicy food as a result. Although, I don’t care for Tabasco sauce itself, per se. Taste buds are such a strange thing. My son used to love gnocchi with béchamel sauce as a kid. Now, not so much. Then there is that kid who recently went blind because he only ate six things, including potato chips. He just didn’t like other tastes.

Regardless of how taste buds get formed, we have them. Or rather, we have certain taste predilections. Then, we also have certain behaviors (bad habits) that we do, that we wish we didn’t. Although, I must admit I don’t even care about biting my nails. I’m in what behavior change psychologists refer to as pre-contemplation. I’m nowhere near contemplating stopping my nail-biting behavior. It gets me through the day. But, it does at times lead to bloody fingers.

So, I looked down at my fingers and saw that two of them were bleeding. I used them as a weird feedback mechanism to myself. Upon seeing them I surmised I was either stressed, anxious, or angry. Maybe even happy. I suppose that as a feedback mechanism it’s not very precise. I was just recently told that people can tell when I’m about to lose my patience because I start getting fidgety and shift in my chair. Sadly, not everyone has gotten that memo and some still drone on and on despite my seat shifting.

Upon seeing my bloody fingers I started to crave a pickle. I’m joking. It was chips and salsa that I craved. Which honestly, would have caused my fingers some further pain. I stayed away from food. I instead got up and washed my hands. And, then I did a little dance.

9 replies »

  1. “Stimming”; it’s a very Popular Term in Autism Communities
    That is really Just a Form of Meditation to Escape the ‘Deadline’
    Maker of the Neo-Cortex in Illusions like all time, distance, space
    and even Matter; a free Float if you will away from all worry; Yes, Flow
    As Well the fine line between a potential anxiety of Blood on the Fingers
    When biting Finger Nails a bit too much and the complexity of Trimming
    Them with Teeth in smooth
    edges away from
    Sheer Boredom
    as the Zen Art of
    Biting Finger
    Nails becomes
    one with A UniVerse US
    Escaping the Neo-Cortex
    in Flow of Bliss; people every
    where Seeking Peace and Harmony so
    many paths to Heaven within including
    Biting Finger Nails in A Zen Art ‘tween
    Bloody Finger Tips and Smooth Fingernails
    as the Art continues to bring potential Greater Bliss hehe…
    Haha; i am A
    Greta Thunberg
    of the Human Soul..
    or Jesus F in Christ
    Super Star Anti-Trump too
    but of course Just the Essence
    of Poetry with Liberal Justice of Free Association
    in Creativity with no real Allegiance to Shells of Words alone; Science of Poetry;
    or ‘Moral’ Restrictions on Flesh and Blood Acts Achieving A Basic Same Essence of Peace..:)

    Liked by 1 person

I welcome your thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s