I am a fairly optimistic person. I have had to be. It has been a coping strategy of mine since childhood. Things will get better. They have to. Or so, was my perspective. I shouldn’t say “was” as it make sit seem that I am about to announce I lost my optimistic way of being. I haven’t lost my way. Although, I may have meandered here or there down a beaten-down path. But I always veer back onto the optimism path. I have to. It is how I cope. And, as far as coping mechanisms go, it is not a bad one. Right? Right!
Even with all this overflowing optimism there are days when I need a boost. There are days when I wonder if things will really get better. As such, I go and ask other people their opinions on the situation(s). Now here is the funny part of this all. Well, to me. When I ask others and get positive outlooks and forecasts, I get skeptical real fast. I want to hear, in part, how they feel things won’t work out. Weird? Positive feedback from others doesn’t motivate me as nearly as much as does negative.
Then occasionally I do listen to that positive feedback and buy into it. I guess those are the instances in which I am really hungering for change. I get ramped up and eagerly await the positive turn of events, Then I become severely depressed (well, that is an exaggeration) when things don’t work out. And I get annoyed at the positive person. Weird? I even go beyond annoyed. I may even get a tad bit upset. I start thinking as to why they led me astray. Then I get annoyed at myself (a little) at believing the hopes of others. My own optimism I can buy into. But that of others? Well, I need to understand their optimism and whether it is based on an informed context. I am beginning to think I can write up a case study on myself. But I think I rather remain ignorant as to how my mind works. I will stick with my sunny optimism and keep in check my request from others for prognoses.