About three years ago, I was moving cross country (yet again) and I needed to get rid of items. I got rid of stuff for symbolic purposes. I was leaving my beloved New York after having been there for ten years in that last stint. I leave, come back. Come back, leave again. But ten years was a long stint this time around. Thus, I needed to do symbolic things. I needed to get rid of some things as I shed my New York coat. Although, deep down, I am always a New Yorker. Always will be.

I poured through my closets trying to figure out what I was to take and what to throw away.  In sorting throw my items, I came across an item that caused me much consternation. It was a gift from someone that I had adored but who had turned on me. And, I never could find a way to forgive this person.  I was left wondering whether I should toss that gift. I decided to get rid of it and threw it out. Now with that said, I thought I had gotten rid of that gift. Turns out it is in my dining room in Los Angeles. Thus, it not only survived my trip from New York to San Francisco, it also survived my move from San Francisco to Los Angeles. How could that be? I have yet to use the item. Thus, it cannot be that I found it useful despite the gift-giver.  I suppose deep down I had forgiven this person depsite myself.

Now, I find myself in a similar situation. I was cleaning out my closet for my sister’s arrival. I came across another gift I had been given by someone that I no longer cared for because their knife in my back was still wedged in. I looked at the gift with sadness and anger. It was still unwrapped. And I do not care to ever use it. The symbolism was too strong.   There is no way I can keep it.

Question now becomes whether I should burn it, toss it, or bury it?  Well, I probably should not burn it despite the great pleasure such symbolism would bring me.  There is a great fire in the Los Angeles area and I should not contribute to the deteriorating air quality.   Tossing it would be a quick, too quick, a way to dispose of it. I’m not too sure I will get much pleasure out of that. Nor will I feel any real relief from throwing it away.  Now, should I bury it? There I could have some fun. I could stomp on the ground. I can dance on the ground.   I could let my dog do his thing on that piece of ground.   Burying seems to be the option that might bring the most pleasure and bring forth the best symbolism.

Although, I must admit, I still have not finished my Christmas shopping.   Perhaps this object that brings me pain can bring pleasure to someone else. Hmm. Let my dog do his thing or re-gift?

I believe I will re-gift but we may possibly see years from now what I actually ended up doing.