Culture

I walked away and I would do it again

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Sometimes you just have to be willing to walk away from something.  You just have to be able to say “no thanks“.  You just have to be able to say “I’m done“. That’s not often easy to do.  Actually, more often than not it is extremely hard to do.  People waiver, waffle, and wait things out. Occasionally, that may be the right tactic. Often, waiting things out is just too damaging. Thus, you just got to pack your metaphorical bags and head out.

 

I believe that with the advent of social media, it’s become easier to walk away. I know that may sound like a very weird idea or theory. Here’s the thing. With the proliferation of social media, you can see and learn about other options. In a way, we are less rooted and more transient as a result of social media. We not only think there is more out there, but we can now verify (to some extent).

 

Now, I am not being super philosophical or wish to debate the universe’s expanse. I’m just being realistic and reflecting on what I did this week.

 

I was looking forward to purchasing a home. Ok. Let me take that back. Purchasing? No. I was looking forward to having a new home. I’ve looked at over 100 houses by now. By last week, I have put in five offers in the past two months. Finally, one had gone through. We were 20 days into escrow and then the record scratched. There was a slight problem on the seller’s part.  And we were done.

 

We walked away and cancelled escrow because there was no reason for us to try to work it out and give them another chance.   Yes, I have been looking for many months at this point. And, yes, I have seen over 100 houses thus far. However, there has been nothing that I have fallen in love with that I just had to have. Maybe I’m jaded. Everything I have put in an offer, was “good enough”. I was happy enough but not in ecstasy.  I’m not too sure that there are houses out there than one can be ecstatic about. They are either too pricey, too small, too old, or too “unique” (craftsman).   I know you can’t have everything but this housing market is insane when a burned down house can still go for upwards of $500,000 with no concessions.

 

Because the market is crazy, I have told myself that it is ok to walk away at any point should the transaction prove to be too difficult or uncomfortable.  Its my hard-earned money that will pay for this and I need to be protective of it and be willing to tell someone “I’m done.”

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Here I am. Five house offers in and not one to show for it. But It will be alright. I just put in twe more today.   This process will work out in the end. I know it. Patience to find what’s right and fortitude to walk away from what is wrong.   I suppose this is pertinent to life overall.

Categories: Culture, identity, mental health, photography, Psychology

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30 replies »

  1. Three thoughts come to mind on this. There is a situation I have closed the door on and I have kept looking out the window and opened the door again to offer an opportunity for the other party to be honest and they, for whatever reason can’t seem to, I haven’t lost hope. The other is when I was and appraiser I would get calls from people asking what a 4 bedroom 2 1/2 bath house is worth, without them telling me where it is like it doesn’t matter. I just looked up a property I mow the lawn at, I was curious, there is no house. It’s in a prestigious neighborhood on Lake of the Isles Minneapolis. It sold last year for 1.4 Million for 10,000 square feet.

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  4. Hi Mimi, our housing wish list has changed three times in the past 28 years and we were lucky to be able to go with those changes. Now we are nearing the empty nest stage and hope to be able to downsize. We no longer value possessions as much as freedom and the opportunity to travel and have new experiences. Consider sitting down and visualising life at different stages and what your housing needs may be in 5, 10, 20 years. You might save yourself a lot of money and be pleasantly surprised.

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    • Thanks for sharing. For sure, we have so many differing life needs that come stages. For now we may need more space but sadly I can see in maybe 25 needing less. We shall see. Kids these days stay longer:-)
      Have a great week ahead..

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  7. Mimi, it’s been a while since I peeked in on blogging to see what is doing. Been very enmeshed with politics – very crazy. Anyway, since your blog is one of my favorites, yours is the first one I opened. And your house search is quite emotional. But, you are so smart to be able to walk away. Most cannot look at things – especially house hunting – with the intelligent attitude. Not easy. Wishing you good luck in this difficult search.

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  9. We had a similar issue when we were looking for a house during the beginning of our marriage and essentially everything fell apart at the 11th hour. We walked away and used the money we had set aside for a house to go on our first international trip and that decision changed our lives and gave us the opportunity to live abroad. That housing problem was a watershed moment in our life. One that I look back on thankfully.

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  10. Pingback: Transient Rain | What's (in) the picture?

  12. I remember the last house my mother bought. We had the move planned and what city she wanted to live in, to be close enough to things she wanted. I also remember driving two realtors nuts because we went through more houses than can be counted on two hands before any offers were made. I remember the one real estate guy when we finally found one she loved. His words to the other realtor “I think they finally found one.” And you could see the visible relief on their faces.

    Take your time. They’ll wait for the money. It’s out there.

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  14. Sometimes getting the exact of what we want may never happen, may be delayed or frustrating! I am currently reading The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz especially on the part on waiting for the exact thing we want…..which may never happen. Take the case of Peter looking for a spouse and each lady meets certain requirements while at the same time falling short on some or one. In my view, some instances require some flexibility.

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  15. I hope you find the house you like. We have been practicing the art of walking away from a lot of things lately as we prepare to build the life of our dreams literally. We are going to carve out land and use natural and some bought resources of the land we purchase this Spring to begin building our own home, just me and my fiancee. It is difficult and as liberating and frustrating as can be but worth it. Don’t stop until you find what you are looking for in your home.

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  16. You’re right, it’s your money that is going to pay for it, so make sure it’s what you want. It’s not being too picky or demanding, it doesn’t look like you are in a situation where you have to settle, so don’t! If you pick the wrong place, you’ll just end up miserable and looking again in a few months or years. Get what you want, lady!

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