I could talk about my son all day and all night. But I know how silly that would be to do as most people don’t want to hear all the details of other people’s children. I get that. I used to feel that exact same way decades before. Then I had my boy and he is awesome and everything is awesome. I tell him quite often (rather everyday) how much I love him and how cool I find him to be. He then notes how much he loves me and is happy I am his mommy. It’s a rather lovely relationship.
One thing that he doesn’t quite get is why I take so many photographs. Not only of him, but of my food, of signs out on the street and of random gadgets I come across anywhere. I tell him I like to remember and document things. Sometimes I ask him why shouldn’t I be able to take photos of him everyday? At that point he usually shrugs and says “I don’t know” and then moves onto the next topic.
But how can I tell him the truth? How can I tell him that I take so many photographs because I lost the majority of my childhood photos? Do I tell him that I lost the voice records of my mother and that I long to hear her voice? Or that I want him to have as many recorded memories of our time together for when I am no longer on this earth? I didn’t mean to get morbid here. It happens when I digress. And I tend to digress a lot. Despite all my digressions I still don’t really care for Woody Allen. But that is a major digression. Back to photos and my son.
I go by the philosophy that any moment captured in time is precious. I felt a twinge of sadness for Viola Davis who only has one childhood photo of herself as her family was too poor to own a camera. I understand not having that may photos of that time so many years ago. Now I overcompensate for having so few photos of my childhood as well as so few photographs of my mother and even fewer of my moth and I together. It saddens me to think of how little is documented of our love and bond. I know I have it in my heart. Just wish I could see it in a photo as well. Ah, I should stop being so maudlin.
Here is a happy event this past week. Right before my son headed to school on St Patrick’s Day, I took a photo of him in his green Minecraft sweater. He sighed when I asked to take a photograph but he then put his smile on for me. That one photograph will remind me of a hundreds things about my son, ten years from now. The moment may not seem big right now, but in the future it will give me such joy. Even though I take 1000’s of photographs, I will probably ask myself years later why I didn’t take more. I asked him to bear with me and understand I take these photos so that we can document all these little moments that we are living. Then he can share those with his children and so on.
Because of all these reasons, I took a photo of him going down the steps of a store. He walked down ahead of me and I paused to just snap a photo of him as he took several steps away from me. Another moment in time that I will relish.