I would pet him but I’ve got a date


Something that I both love and that drives me crazy about New York is the sheer number of crazy conversations you can overhear.  You ostensibly don’t need a television while living in New York, as everyday city life in New York is vastly entertaining in itself. I have heard numerous stories of bad dates and bad investments. I have overheard wild conspiracies that made me laugh as well as be extremeley scared to the point that I kept looking back to make sure no one was following me. These stories were so enteratining that surely I cannot be blamed for missing my beloved New York.

While I have acclimated to LA life, there really is just not that much walking. I don’t get to walk for hours on end window shopping while I listen in on random conversations.  Again, today I was asked what I like about Los Angeles and I still note the beach and the food. And note that if you love either one of those two much, you can’t readily do the other. I also like that most restaurants serve alcohol fairly early. What I don’t like is that you don’t have man 24 hour establishments. In New York it is a rite of ritual to go go somewhere late, late night just to say you were out late. I mean this could jsut as easily be going to a nightclub as it is going to the local supermarket to buy toilet paper at 3am. It is exciting either way. I can assure you both lines at these locales will be filled with incoherent babble; which is part of the fun. But back to Los Angeles, as I have digressed long enough as I wax nostalgic.

In Los Angeles you don’t get the random conversations. Actually, I take that back. In Los Angeles, you get a ton of random conversations. However, these are conversations that a person is having with him or herself. There are a lot of people that talk to themselves here in LA.  They sometimes berate themselves. More often than not they are berating someone else that you cannot see. Those random conversations are not that entertaining to overhear as they are often quite sad.  So goes LA. I am nostalgic for random conversations that make you go hmm.  Even Jimmy Fallon loves to overhear such random conversations. He has a bit on his show where he reads tweets from the hasag #ionceoverheard.  Such an exmaple is “I once overheard a man in a stall next to me whisper to himself: please not now #IOnceOverheard.

There is also one of my favorite comedy bits by Al Franken where he notes the follwoing overheard sentence “If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college.”

I enjoy such randomness in life. I know that I can probably get such a random convesation or two in Los Angeles but I craving more than that. Oh New York.

I did overhear in the elevator in my Los Angeles building, one man tell another “I would pet him but I have a date later on tonight.” At first I didn’t pay attention and then I processed the setence. Huh? Was this the equivalent of Franken’s horse conversation experience? In the few seconds that it took me to lift my head and look at the two men, I had a hundred and one ideas of what they could be talking about. And each one was a crazier scenario than the other.

I then looked up and at the coner and there was one guy with a dog talking to a guy in a spiffy blue suede suit (I am not joking about that part). I was disappointed. He was being literal. There was a dog. One guy didn’t want to pet the dog. One guy was appeared to be on his way out to a date. I was so sad. I thought, for a sheer second, that I had overheard an odd euphemism that I would ponder about all night. Alas,that was not the case. It was just a standard concern that a guy was experssing about not wanting to get dog hair on himself. I just stood there in my corner of the elevator quietly petting the dog.

Why are LAers so literal?

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