There very well could be too much caffeine in my bloodstream these days. When I lived in New York, I would start ingesting coffee and soda (simultaneously) at around 5:30am and end by 10:30am. Nowadays, I drink coffee at 6:30am, 9:00am and 1pm. Yes, there very well could be too much caffeine in my bloodstream. And indeed I do miss my bed. If I am lucky I will get my bed back in two months.
Life is a blur these days where I attempt to get 40 things done in a day and maybe, if lucky, get three done. But I am not necessarily fretting. Things are what they are these days. I know I am good at what I do. I am apparently good at new things as well. As such, I am learning that in the time vortex in which I find myself, even while things are a blur, I can slow down. Things have become so blurry that I literally have stopped wearing my contact lens. They no longer provide the clarity that my newly crazily-hectic life requires. I’d rather go around with my funky eye glasses that give me some cool nerd cred. They also remind me of my mom, who was way before her time, in terms of funky glasses. As a kid, I thought her cat eye glasses were odd. Now, I say bring them on. In my new state of morning blurriness there is clarity, focus and purpose. My mind is just on a different plane now.
Have you seen the television show The Flash? There are a couple of scenes where he is running as fast as he can and he looks at his image in the speed vortex and his other self is staring back at him. It was as if the Flash was chasing himself. At times, I feel that I too am chasing myself.
I am, at times, way too ahead of myself. My brain is at warp speed and I know and see what needs to be done and I believe (in that time mystical timezone) that it can be done. I’m shadow boxing with myself.
Even in my blurry state of being, I know I can do more. I know I can be more. And even when I see others in my blurry state of being, there is always an important point of focus that emerges.
This may all sound odd. But try being blurry-eyed, metaphorically speaking that is, for a bit. And, admittedly, while I have adjusted to my mystical time zone, I still miss my bed. Living in between two cities, time zones and houses can really warp one’s sense of being. At least, however, I have rediscovered my old college musical tastes and that seems to give me some comfort. So I will warn ya, there will be more Morrissey and Smiths references to come.