Researchers have discovered something deeply comforting about human connection. We don’t actually bond over shared values, hopes, or dreams.

No no. We bond over what we can’t stand.

This explains a lot.

You’re at a party. You could try to ask someone “What brings you joy?” Or you could say, “Can we talk about how the Kardashians are somehow still a thing?”

Boom. Instant intimacy. Practically family.

There is something profoundly unifying about a shared eye-roll. A collective “absolutely not.” A synchronized spiritual rejection of that one football player who should have retired three seasons ago but insists on haunting Sundays like a well-conditioned ghost.

Psychologically, it makes sense. Dislike is efficient. It’s clear. It requires no vulnerability. You don’t have to reveal your dreams. Just your standards. And frankly, standards are easier to defend after two glasses of wine.

So the next time you’re at a gathering, skip the small talk. Go straight for the jugular of collective annoyance.
Bad reality TV. Overpriced oat milk. That coworker who says “circling back.”

Connection will follow.

Because nothing says “we’re in this together” like mutually deciding this ain’t it.