There’s a quote often attributed to Sun Tzu that has been haunting me lately: An evil man will burn his own nation to the ground to rule over the ashes.

I’m not talking about current politics. Truly. I’m talking about what I’ve seen up close, at the granular, fluorescent-lit, committee-meeting level of leadership. The kind that doesn’t make headlines but quietly erodes institutions, teams, and trust, one grand gesture at a time.

This is a post about leadership psychology. About narcissism. About the dangerous seduction of shiny objects.

Let’s be honest. Every leader has narcissistic tendencies. They have to. You don’t raise your hand and say, “Yes, I should be in charge” without a healthy dose of confidence, self-belief, and a mild obsession with impact. That’s not the problem. The problem is when that narcissism stops being in service of the mission and starts being in service of the mirror.

That’s when things get combustible.

There’s a certain type of leader who confuses visibility with value. Who loves the plaque, the announcement, the email distribution blast more than the actual work. Who speaks fluently about “the mission” but privately measures success by applause, access, and whose name is bolded in the press release.

And here’s the most unsettling part. People fall for it. Yuck!
Certain people are wired to fall for it.

The confidence. The certainty. The glitter. The charisma that says, I alone can fix this. It’s intoxicating. It feels like direction. Like safety. Like momentum. Until you realize the village is on fire and the leader is calmly rearranging their portrait on the wall.

Burning systems or people down doesn’t always look dramatic. Sometimes it looks like sidelining thoughtful dissent. Sometimes it looks like sacrificing long-term stability for short-term praise. Sometimes it looks like exhausting the very people doing the work while taking credit for the outcome.

And when the ashes finally settle, there they stand. Ruler of nothing, surrounded by the damage they insist was necessary.

This is where narcissism becomes pathological. Not because the leader wants recognition but because they want it more than they want the mission to survive. More than they want people to thrive. More than they want the institution to last beyond their tenure.

Good leadership uses ego as fuel for the greater good. Bad leadership uses the greater good as fuel for ego.

One builds something sustainable.
The other leaves scorch marks and exit interviews.

So yes, leaders need confidence. They need vision. They even need a little vanity. But when leadership becomes about stroking rather than serving and about legacy rather than stewardship, it stops being leadership and starts being something uglier.

And honestly? That’s not strategic.
That’s just sad.

Because ruling over ashes isn’t power. It’s proof that the fire was always the point.