architecture

Why We Crave Rooms When Life Gets Loud


There are moments, usually late at night, when the urge is not for meditation or deep breathing, but for a primal scream. The kind that rattles walls. Followed closely by aggressively loud potato chips. Crunchy. Salty. Possibly eaten straight from the bag like an emotional support activity. Actually, I’m going to confess this is not just late at night for me. Sometimes, it’s at noon. Sometimes at 5pm.

This is not a failure of mindfulness. This is a nervous system speaking plainly.

When life gets loud, it doesn’t always announce itself with sirens. Sometimes it’s the steady hum of responsibility. The constant decision-making. The holding it together. The endless tabs open in your brain. The awareness that time is moving whether you’re ready or not.

And so we crave rooms.

Not rooms as in square footage or real estate listings. Rooms as in containers. Places that hold us when everything else feels uncontained. A room that says that one can stop scanning now. That the edges are here.

Psychologically, rooms are regulation. They offer boundaries when the world feels porous. They reduce noise, both external and internal. They give our brains a signal that it’s safe to stand down, at least for a moment.

This is why people fantasize about reading nooks, libraries, soaking tubs, window seats, treehouses, basements, attics, and even soundproof rooms where one could scream and no one would call the authorities. It’s not escapism. It’s self-preservation.

I’ve noticed that the louder life gets, the less I want wide-open plans and the more I want intentional enclosure. A place to think. Or not think. A place where the only decision is which book to open or whether the cocktail should have ice. I don’t like ice much, by the way.

And yet, and here’s the paradox, we don’t always crave calm in a quiet, Instagrammable way. Sometimes we crave controlled chaos. The crunch of chips. The volume turned up. The release of sound and sensation that reminds us we’re still here, still embodied, still human.

A good room understands this.

A good room doesn’t demand serenity. It allows it. It also allows mess. Noise. Laughter. Tears. Crunching. Silence. All of it. A good room doesn’t judge how you regulate. It just holds you while you do.

So yes, I want a reading room. I’ve stated this before. I guess I’m obsessed. I want a warm, introspective space. Possibly with wood and light and a view. Possibly with a jacuzzi nearby because water is magic and we all know it. But I also want it to be the kind of room where I can occasionally lose my composure in peace.

Because craving a room isn’t about withdrawal from life. It’s about staying in it without burning out.

Sometimes self-care looks like a quiet book and a soft chair.
Sometimes it looks like yelling into the void with snacks.

Both are valid.
Both deserve a room.


2 replies »

  1. Indeed Dear Miriam Without Finding Some Kind

    of Room For Sanctity in Life Both in The External

    And Internal Worlds of Our Life

    The Stress Response

    Slowly And Truly

    Mutilates all of
    What Makes Our
    Humanity Real and
    Fulfilling With No Empty

    Rooms of Pain and Numb Within

    Sadly i Didn’t Have Nearly Enough
    Emotional And Physical Intelligence

    Far Beyond Stellar
    Measured

    School Type

    IQ to Deal With
    This in my 19 Years
    of Schooling For 3 Degrees
    in Tandem With 33 Years of

    Work Until Total Animal Exhaustion

    With 19 Medical Disorders With No
    Prognosis For Recovery From the Living Dead

    Some Doctor’s
    Just Said sorry
    Can’t Help You

    So Go Away and find
    Another Way If Possible at Least

    Hehe Anyway to Make a Much Longer
    Story You’ve Already Likely Heard Shorter

    i Figured Out Over Years Now How to Make
    All of Existence A Place of Sanctity Yet of Course

    Not Having to
    Work for Pay

    is One of the
    Main Parts
    That made
    it Possible
    For me to
    Create ThiS WaY

    Of Life At All

    No Longer the
    Living Dead Breathing

    Breathing

    Free

    For Real
    Best Wishes
    in Your Rooms
    And Ways of Finding

    Sanctity
    Now For Real…

    Still Searching Now
    And Then For Longer
    Naps hehe

    It’s An Art

    Never A Perfect
    Practice That Only

    Makes it All that Much More

    Interesting

    to Perfect

    As only
    A Verb
    With SMiLes..:)

    Like

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