Apparently, in Norway, not only are the fjords majestic, but the citizens also possess superpowers like the ability to sleep through a 500-foot container ship crash-landing on their front lawn. Yes, Johan Helberg of Byneset woke up not because of the world’s loudest alarm clock, but because a neighbor knocked on his door to ask if he had “noticed the boat outside.”
A boat in his yard! Blocking his view. A maritime surprise and he was snoring through it all.
Now, let me share with you that I wake up when a fruit fly rises. The dog yawns too aggressively? I’m up. A leaf brushes the window? Fully alert. Meanwhile, Johan is tucked in like a swaddled baby, dreaming of herring and hot saunas, while Poseidon’s oversized Amazon delivery parks itself in his driveway.
So naturally, I have questions. What is his secret? Warm goat milk before bed? Whale song playing softly on a loop? A blanket made from the fur of Norse deities? Does he count reindeer instead of sheep?
Because if it’s just sleeping pills, I will be so disappointed. I want fantasy, mystery, enchantment. I want his sleep formula to involve a 700-year-old rune, an enchanted lavender candle, and a lullaby hummed by Odin himself.
Whatever it is, Johan, bottle it up. Trademark it. I’ll be your first customer.
Until then, I remain one restless, skeptical, sleep-deprived New Yorker who now knows that sleep superpowers exist. And, they live in the land of the midnight sun.
Categories: current events, identity, mental health, Psychology, society





*[…]E eu me esqueci, por um tempo[…]*
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Hehe Dear Miriam Late Last Night After a Nap
at 5 AM i Was Also Writing About Odin And
Hanging Himself Upside Yes Spearing
Himself in the Side Understanding
Facing the Abyss Is Necessary
to Learn the Deepest
Secrets of Human
Soul to Expose
In Just Another
Dance And Song of the
Mill Town Mythological Hero Story
Of Course Mythology Doesn’t Have to
Be Rational As Neither Is the Human Condition
At Its Deeper Levels Far Beyond What Constitutes
Our Word Thinking Minds at about .5 Percent of Total
Oh To Leave that
Small Part Behind
in Dreamtime of
The Reality
of the Human
Condition Yes For Real
Nah i Didn’t Have to Hang Myself
Upside Down and Spear Myself in the
Side Yet Type Two Trigeminal Neuralgia
Is Already Assessed as the Suicide Disease
And a Torture Worse than Real Crucifixion
True Enduring it and a Life Threat of 18
Other Mostly Work Stress Related
Disorders for 66 Months No Drug
Would Touch Yet From The Beginning
True as Far as Insomnia Goes the Record
For No Sleep at all is 264 Hours AKA 11 Days
For me in the Spring/Lent Days of Giving Something
Up Back in 2008 Hehe No It’s Not Really Funny the First
35 of 40 Days with Only One Hour Each Night Cardboard
Shallow Assisted By an Alpha Blocker And No Sleep at all the
Last 5 of 40 Days as The Rings of Dante’s FroZen World of Pain
And Numb Continued longer each and every second of a Thousand
Years of Hell
True in Hell
There is Only
Time in Heaven
It is Dreamtime
No Time At All Yes
Wide Asleep Awake
Floating on A Cloud
of Wu Wei Effortless Ease
Even in a Solo Dance Among
Hundreds of Drunken Spring
Break College Age Students hehe
Same as Busy Store Floors Preparing
For Tariff Shortages Or Just Burning Up
The Credit Cards of Debt Out of Sight Out of Mind
For
What
Comes Next…
It’s True It’s Hard to
Imagine Unless You
Do Sleep All the Day
Long Wide Awake Guiding
‘Silent
Lucidity’
Fruition for
Whatever Dreams Next
Yet this Much is Likely True
If i Could Give the Most Selfish
And Greedy Sadistic Billionaires
One Teaspoon
of This Elixir
Experience
of Real Heaven Within
They Would Never Need
to Take From Others Again…
All that Would Be Left Is
The Give
of ‘the
Other
Place iNDeed
Yet the Truth is THere is
No Welfare God Free To Dole it
Out After a Recipe of Words in a Book to recite
It is ever move holy dance ever word sacred song
evermore
iN
Flow
New
Now
We
Do
Re-Create…
Of Course Only in my
View Vast Differences
Exist Depending on Vehicle
And Vessel of the Nature and
Nurture
of Each
Human
‘Condition’..:)
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When I finally got up at noon, after putting myself back to bed numerous times during the night, and two mini-meals, and pain pills, I found out that all the pounding in the background had been the AC people, who actually CAME INTO OUR APARTMENT and knocked on the bedroom door!
I did get my 7+ hours of sleep – in, I believe, 8 segments.
The secret to getting enough sleep is to get UP, deal with whatever the body needs, and, calmly, go back to bed and start up the box breathing.
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