Culture

Mimi-ism: Boundaries Aren’t Rude—They’re Survival


Some folks hear the word “boundary” and act like you just slapped their emotional support latte out of their hand. “Why are you being mean?” they ask, as if choosing not to carry their chaos is somehow a federal offense.

But let me say it louder for the people in the back: boundaries are not rude. They are self-preservation. They are the invisible fences that keep your sanity from wandering off into the land of constant people-pleasing and burnout.

I used to feel guilty for saying no. Now? I say it with a full smile, maybe even a jazz hand.

Because when I protect my peace, I protect my ability to show up full for myself and the people who don’t treat me like a walking emotional sponge.

Note to self: “Saying ‘no’ is a spiritual practice. Namaste over there.”

3 replies »

  1. Square Root One Problem of the

    Human Social Animal Condition

    Yes Dear Miriam Boundaries

    And The ABiLiTY oF NO NO NO

    Versus yes

    As the Social Science Dunbar’s

    Number For the General Limit of
    150 Meaningful Relationships Amongst

    Human Beings
    Of Basically

    A Relationship
    Of ‘i Care You Care’

    And When it Comes to Close
    Intimate Friendships the Number
    Is Closer to 5 In Other Words There

    Are Human Social Capacity Limits Yes
    Where if the Group Exceeds These Numbers
    ‘Complex Structures and Rules’ are Required

    to Make the
    Group Effort
    Whether Village
    City State Nation
    Country World Work

    In Terms of Boundaries
    Necessary in Complex
    Structures And Rules

    Or as Folks Once Promoting
    Anarchy Are Finding Out In the
    United States Now What Happens

    When the Guard Rails of Boundaries are
    Removed and Basically All Hell Breaks Loose

    in Chaos
    Slowly
    And
    Faster
    Like a
    Chainsaw
    Of Destruction
    in Federal Employment too

    Or a Trade War Started By the
    Incompetence Authoritarian
    Leadership Brings With

    Only Incompetence
    That Agrees With
    Every Foolish

    (All Yes KNoWinG

    No No’s Oh CR8P!)

    Initiative Next

    Hehe as They ‘Say’ ‘Dance’
    And ‘Sing’ ‘Don’t Tread on me’
    Or my Group of 5 or 150 or More
    With Complex Structures and Rules Indeed

    Those Who Don’t Tread Carefully Risk Marriages

    And The End of
    the Human World
    As We Know It When
    Very Pointy Objects Are
    Aimed At Each Other
    iN Warring Countries

    As Just Another
    Time Bomb
    To End Time
    Once and For
    All For our Species at Least…

    Oh Dear Lord it Was So Much
    Easier When Cats in the Neighborhood

    in Territorial Disputes

    Over Boundaries

    Just Hissed
    at Each
    Other
    With

    ‘A Mexican
    Cat Stand-Off’ AS Such…

    And Of Course These Are General
    Social Science Assessed Guidelines

    (For Humans Not Cats Small or Much Bigger)

    For me at Least Outside of the Working And
    Money Making World With ‘Peter Pan’
    Levels of Responsibilities It’s

    Much Easier for me to Fly
    Over the Village And Or
    Cuckoo’s Nest Next in

    Effortless Wu Wei
    Ease Yet Yes of Course

    i Understand the Inertia
    Gravity and Potential

    Entropy
    of the
    Other
    Place
    That i Was
    GROUNDED iN And
    Occupied by Before

    iN Other Words i Surely
    Don’t Expect You to Read
    This Run on Sentence Or

    Publish It as You’d Have to Be
    Almost Supernormal to Consume
    it With the Rest of Your Responsibilities in Life

    Never the Less Your Writings Are Always Inspiring
    And i Transfer my Efforts in Copy and Paste Ways

    in Places

    Where Humans
    Aren’t Necessarily
    Achieving Other More

    Supernormal Human

    Efforts in

    Their
    Day to
    Day Life

    With SMiLes…

    Social Science Also Indicates
    Text Provides Around 7 Percent
    of Full Human Reciprocal Social Communication

    Boundaries ThiS WaY May Surely Be Hit and Miss
    Like my Muslim FRiEnD Who Got Really Offended
    When i Used the Rainbow Emoji as i Didn’t realize

    Her Religion Not Unlike the Catholic One i Visit Insists

    They Alone
    Own a
    Trade
    Mark
    For Rainbows

    And Other Stuff Like ‘God’ Hehe

    Yet Again Such Is the Human Condition

    Limits Limits Limits in constant Change
    That Require a Lifelong Challenge to adapt to indeed

    Particularly
    As A Global

    Citizen Yes
    Yet True i Have
    Plenty More Social
    Capacity for A Challenge
    With Almost Zero Levels of Negative Stress…

    Ah Yes
    Like An
    Electric
    Powered
    Vehicle
    Always Charging
    Up Needing Zero

    Levels of Gas

    For the
    ‘Spoons’
    oF ‘A Day
    iN A Life’ STiLL To CoMe
    as Just a smAll beginning
    HeaR So far

    Hehe

    at
    least
    with SMiLEs..:)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I long ago stopped saying ‘no.’ Instead, I quote my hourly rate (currently about $1500.00), and ask how many hours they think they’ll need.

    No one has taken me up on it yet.

    Value yourself – other people will simply have to live with that valuation.

    Liked by 2 people

I welcome your thoughts