Culture

Sometimes saying goodbye doesn’t mean you don’t love anymore, just means you love yourself too

It’s a Sunday night and I’ve been binge watching (way too much bunge watching) the television show Pretty Little Liars. It’s a ridiculous show with plotholes 10 football fields deep. However, it is quite entertaining. Although, I must add the dating relationships for these young pretty liars are quite fraught with numerous unethical, borderline illegal pairings. And, I won’t touch that here. Although, in a way I will.

Let me explain.

These featured relationships on these little Liars show really should have been pushed aside by these young women at numerous times. But it seemed as if they suscribed to the 1970s Love Story mantra “love means never having to say you’re sorry”. It is quite a ridiculous catchphrase uttered by Ali MacGraw’s character. How do you heal without forgiveness is a difficult process. Especially when we’ve hurt someone we love, we absolutely need to apologize—sincerely and contritely.

But back to a different part of this consideration. Sometimes you have to say goodbye. And, it is not because the love is no longer there. But it’s because you love yourself enough to find and create a safe, caring space. Saying goodbye can be even more healing than apologizing. Especially, if it’s one apology after another.

5 replies »

  1. “i’M A LiVeR”
    Only Line i Remember
    From “Love Story” Other
    Than “Were Do i Begin”
    SMiLes Dear Miriam One
    of the First Songs i Learned to
    Play on the Piano By Sheet Music
    in 1972 Hmm WaS A VEry Good Year
    i’m Thinking For Chinese Rat New Year’s
    too Right Behind the 1960 Version of the
    Chinese Rat me too the Movie “Love Story”
    Released in 1970 With Ali McGraw And Ryan O’Neal
    Loving Without Expectation of Return Altruism Without
    Reward When Giving Becomes Receiving Regardless
    of Rewards External or Not In Return True in this
    Case at Least Love Means Never Having To Say
    ‘i Am Sorry’
    As The Giving
    Is Naturally
    Receiving
    Naked Enough
    Whole Complete
    Generally Speaking
    Wearing Wings Makes Less ‘Wind’
    Shear FRiEnDS With Gravity Balancing
    Giving Again With No Receiving And No Begin
    JusT ALWaYS
    STaRTinG AGAiN WitH
    SMiles Taller Than Before..:)

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  2. I too used to watch PLL for entertainment, but I think a lot of modern shows reflect that sentiment when it comes to relationships. That being said there are a few which advocate for people standing up for themselves also and not accepting rubbish. You absolutely right that saying goodbye can be more healing than apologising. Some things you can’t move on from.

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  3. When you’re in a situation where you are always the one apologizing, even if there is nothing to apologize for, it is definitely time to move on. Great post, Mimi. I will be in NYC for 5 days next week. Perhaps we can meet for lunch and say hello in person, if you would be comfortable doing so. You can e-mail me at: foodinbooks@gmail.com if you would like to plan something. Stay well.

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