In psychology, we note that there are times (many often) in which we may not know why we have done or said something. Sometimes we can’t quite spell out a why. We don’t always know our own motivation.
As kids, we are (were) honest about not knowing why we did something. “Why you hit jimmy?” Shrug. Put on impish face. “I don’t know.” As we get older we get pressed more readily for the “why”. And, at times we oblige. Even when we know no more than we did when we were kids.
Where am I going with this? There are “why” and there are “how” people. The “why” people need buy-in and motivation. The “how” people need structure. The how people may just be happier people in the end. Happier than the “why” people, that is.
Often we are not satisfied with the why answers we get. Often we give incomplete, even inaccurate, why answers ourselves. We are all on some journey through our lives and we must have patience as we seek answers from others as well as ourselves. We also need to be on point and on the lookout for those who give easy answers- particularly as it comes to the rationale for their behaviors toward you.