I am someone who can readily compartmentalize. I have neat little boxes in my head of things that are both great and bothersome that I can keep seperated from one another. It’s a great tactic and coping mechanism. It means that even if one issue resolved I tend to readily be able to put ot aside and work on another issue and not get bogged down.
Well, that was the old me and maybe now the new me. The year 2020 is the “in between” me. Everything went topsy-turvy in that year for almost everyone. So be it. New year. Hopefully new frameworks. But I did have a hard time with some of my mind boxes. There was spillage and fraying at the edges of the compartments. I suppose that is in part referred to as ruminations. Or the result of ruminating. Thoughts cane fast and furious in 2020. Time to slow down and box things back up neatlt. But perhaps that need not be so. Some have noted to me that they feel compartmentalizing isn’t necessarily healthy. I still need convincing of that.
Yet, let me note this whole bit has thus far been a distraction. Or rather a digression. I just had really wanted to talk about a slight injustice that occurred decades ago that still bothers me. What compartment it belongs to is beyond me at the moment.
Years ago, I attended boarding school. And they were very strict about missing a class. If you did there was like a whole tribunal court. I kid you not. One day, I developed a severe headache and then nausea. I missed my class. But I did not make it to the infirmary during the class time. I had been feeling too weak. Eventually a few hours later I made it to the infirmary and they kept me overnight, diagnosed with gastritis. I was vomiting non-stop. I was severely ill.
Fast forward a month. Despite having been sick, in my report card they noted I had an unexcused absence. I was livid. I had been severely sick and the medical records showed that. However, because I ended up in the infirmary after the scheduled class it was counted as an unexcused abscence. I felt that was beyond ridiculous but couldn’t convince the powers that be otherwise. The unexcused abscence had no repercussions. Except that in my mind I felt betrayed by a horribly rigid system.
Now, why I am recounting and reliving thus story? I really cannot answer. It just popped up in my mind this morning like these zits coming from wearing masks. I suppose one of my compartments has been having some spillage. Time to tuck it back it.
Categories: childhood, Culture, Health, mental health, Psychology, society
Hehe Slight Injustices
A Bit Annoying
Like When
Church
And
Country
And oh
My God
Practically
Becomes
The Joker
And Gotham
Batman
No WHere
To Be
Seen
And
Alfred
Becomes
President
To Fix The
Problem
As All The
Superheroes
No Longer Found
To
See Yes
A Bit of A
Nuisance Almost
Enough To Reveal
A Cape
Without Another
Frigging Christian
Crusade oF iGNoRaNCE
Sponsored By An
Evil
Psychopathic
Demagogue
Demanding
Worship
And
Slave Duty
To Fall In
Line on
The Long
Train To
Nowhere
Lest
One
Be
Practically
Fired For
Ignorance
Still Today
Living
Dead
To The Way
Of Truth in
Light
In Dark
Lies Killing
Ignorance
Self
Fulfilling
Zombie Apocalypse
Now The Locals Fired
Off Their
Fireworks
Last Night
Likely
Cause
They Didn’t
Get Their Dream
Of Insurrection
Martial
Law
And Just
Another Resurrection
Of A Dream that
Kills
All Their
Perceived
Enemies
Who Just
Wanna Make
Sure They Get
Health Care
And
Their
Queer Children
Will Be Allowed
An Ability
To Love
Freely in
Marriage too
Yes Dear A World
Of Face Palm
Ignorance
Forest
Thick
This Land
Is My Land
And
A Land
oF Lies
Still
Too A Liar’s
Worst Enemy
Is A Person
With
“The To Tell
The Truth Disorder”
Yes Asperger’s
No Filters
Let The
Leaves
Fall Whatever
Fertilizes Green
Exposing All MaNure… 💩
LikeLike
You were wronged. I’ll accept the responsibility so you can rest. I can handle it.
LikeLike
Conniving you to keep it out of the box and use it. I think you might want to explore the betrayal and how it has effected you. The call to explore your feelings and needs jumps right out of your box with frayed edges. It might be time to purposely look at that pain, call it what it is, a pain, and a betrayal. As a child you probably trusted the custodial authority of your boarding school, thereby, in your eyes and mine, the judgement was unfair. This betrayal exposes your need for an empathic response.
That is the most natural need after recovering from an illness. As I assume you were a teen your expectations were not met or heard. Your illness and needs were invisible. They erred not you.
I use these painful memory moments to inform and exercise my empathic muscle. It helps me to see the needs of others and respond empathically.
LikeLike