childhood

Slight injustices that continue to haunt

I am someone who can readily compartmentalize. I have neat little boxes in my head of things that are both great and bothersome that I can keep seperated from one another. It’s a great tactic and coping mechanism. It means that even if one issue resolved I tend to readily be able to put ot aside and work on another issue and not get bogged down.

Well, that was the old me and maybe now the new me. The year 2020 is the “in between” me. Everything went topsy-turvy in that year for almost everyone. So be it. New year. Hopefully new frameworks. But I did have a hard time with some of my mind boxes. There was spillage and fraying at the edges of the compartments. I suppose that is in part referred to as ruminations. Or the result of ruminating. Thoughts cane fast and furious in 2020. Time to slow down and box things back up neatlt. But perhaps that need not be so. Some have noted to me that they feel compartmentalizing isn’t necessarily healthy. I still need convincing of that.

Yet, let me note this whole bit has thus far been a distraction. Or rather a digression. I just had really wanted to talk about a slight injustice that occurred decades ago that still bothers me. What compartment it belongs to is beyond me at the moment.

Years ago, I attended boarding school. And they were very strict about missing a class. If you did there was like a whole tribunal court. I kid you not. One day, I developed a severe headache and then nausea. I missed my class. But I did not make it to the infirmary during the class time. I had been feeling too weak. Eventually a few hours later I made it to the infirmary and they kept me overnight, diagnosed with gastritis. I was vomiting non-stop. I was severely ill.

Fast forward a month. Despite having been sick, in my report card they noted I had an unexcused absence. I was livid. I had been severely sick and the medical records showed that. However, because I ended up in the infirmary after the scheduled class it was counted as an unexcused abscence. I felt that was beyond ridiculous but couldn’t convince the powers that be otherwise. The unexcused abscence had no repercussions. Except that in my mind I felt betrayed by a horribly rigid system.

Now, why I am recounting and reliving thus story? I really cannot answer. It just popped up in my mind this morning like these zits coming from wearing masks. I suppose one of my compartments has been having some spillage. Time to tuck it back it.

3 replies »

  1. Hehe Slight Injustices
    A Bit Annoying
    Like When

    Church

    And

    Country

    And oh

    My God
    Practically

    Becomes

    The Joker

    And Gotham

    Batman

    No WHere

    To Be

    Seen

    And

    Alfred

    Becomes

    President

    To Fix The

    Problem

    As All The

    Superheroes

    No Longer Found

    To
    See Yes

    A Bit of A
    Nuisance Almost
    Enough To Reveal

    A Cape

    Without Another
    Frigging Christian
    Crusade oF iGNoRaNCE
    Sponsored By An

    Evil

    Psychopathic

    Demagogue

    Demanding

    Worship

    And

    Slave Duty
    To Fall In

    Line on
    The Long
    Train To

    Nowhere

    Lest

    One

    Be
    Practically

    Fired For

    Ignorance

    Still Today

    Living

    Dead

    To The Way

    Of Truth in

    Light

    In Dark
    Lies Killing
    Ignorance

    Self

    Fulfilling

    Zombie Apocalypse

    Now The Locals Fired

    Off Their

    Fireworks

    Last Night

    Likely

    Cause

    They Didn’t

    Get Their Dream
    Of Insurrection

    Martial

    Law

    And Just
    Another Resurrection
    Of A Dream that

    Kills

    All Their
    Perceived

    Enemies

    Who Just

    Wanna Make

    Sure They Get

    Health Care

    And

    Their

    Queer Children
    Will Be Allowed

    An Ability

    To Love
    Freely in
    Marriage too

    Yes Dear A World
    Of Face Palm

    Ignorance
    Forest

    Thick

    This Land
    Is My Land

    And

    A Land
    oF Lies

    Still

    Too A Liar’s
    Worst Enemy

    Is A Person

    With

    “The To Tell
    The Truth Disorder”

    Yes Asperger’s

    No Filters

    Let The

    Leaves

    Fall Whatever

    Fertilizes Green

    Exposing All MaNure… 💩

    Like

  2. Conniving you to keep it out of the box and use it. I think you might want to explore the betrayal and how it has effected you. The call to explore your feelings and needs jumps right out of your box with frayed edges. It might be time to purposely look at that pain, call it what it is, a pain, and a betrayal. As a child you probably trusted the custodial authority of your boarding school, thereby, in your eyes and mine, the judgement was unfair. This betrayal exposes your need for an empathic response.
    That is the most natural need after recovering from an illness. As I assume you were a teen your expectations were not met or heard. Your illness and needs were invisible. They erred not you.
    I use these painful memory moments to inform and exercise my empathic muscle. It helps me to see the needs of others and respond empathically.

    Like

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