Have to lean on others in other to continue to lean in

A little over 11 years ago, I was on a day-long ferry trip from one Greek island to another. Ferry rides tend to be hit and miss for me. But that day was a good one despite having the beginnings of morning sickness. A state of being that would last almost to the day my baby boy was born. On said ferry ride, we met a few other people including a very cute family.

In this family was a little girl. Maybe four or five years old. I’m bad with determining age. And, I was quite impressed with how “independent” she appeared to be. I noted as much to the mother believing I was paying them a compliment. Apparently, that was not received as a compliment. The mother was offended and we didn’t see them the rest of the day. I was perplexed. I asked myself “don’t we want our kids to be independent.”.

Now that I have a kid, I know I want him to be independent but to still need me. It’s a complicated, nuanced world. But I am not here to speak about him and my fears of letting him go. I’m here to talk about my independence.

I have repeatedly been told I am independent. And, more often than not it was not meant to offend but was meant to say that it’s ok to need others. Or so has been the gist. Once in an elevator, an exasperated colleague grabbed my heavy bag from me noting “mimi, you don’t have to do everything yourself.”. I had been in pain, but I really didn’t want to let go of that bag. I suppose I walk around with a “I am woman hear me roar” attitude. I played tug of war with my colleague and eventually (while laughing) let go of that bag. But I twitched just a little.

Here’s the thing. Since the age of 14, I have been independent. I lived abroad. I lived at school. I have simultaneously lived in two coasts. I have had numerous metaphorical targets on my back throughout my life. I cannot be contained. But, maybe there are a few times in which I will have to lean on others in other to continue to lean in.

2 replies »

  1. Whenever i Read/Write Stories and Or Poetry inevitably it seems
    A Tune Starts Playing Automatically in my imagination.. “Lean
    on Me” Was Automatic.. then.. i saw i wasn’t the only Fred who
    Is in Tune with that.. So… since i wore a ‘Friends’ Logo Shirt
    to Public Dance today.. i thought about “I’ll Be There” but
    True the World has changed so much lots of folks
    Are Independent without even a Friend
    particularly among the Younger
    Generations as Technology
    Replaces Leaning on
    Flesh and Blood
    i Love Cultural
    Statements in Pop Songs
    About the Such so here is
    “Panini” by ‘Lil Nas X’.. and speaking
    of Oddly Independent as Technology continues
    to take more of us that way.. the Dance Shirt Last
    Night Was ‘Snoopy’ and truly i am a whole Lot like
    Snoopy as i Entertain myself so much it was just unavoidable..
    11,888 Miles of Public Dance in 6 Years literally makes it where
    i cannot go anywhere without someone pointing at me and smiling
    whether i am dancing or not now and even though seriously Someone
    Will ask me do you know how famous you are it’s still like ‘Snoopy’ now
    as no one
    to be
    ‘Joe Cool’ Either
    hehe.. anyway already
    did Nerdy White Boy.. so yes…
    there is always room for Change..
    It’s nice to not have to get paid to inspire folks to smile..
    Seriously.. i used to always wonder back in those close
    to two decades i worked at the Military Bowling Center
    why don’t we just Work to make Folks Smile and
    Let someone else Foot the Bill for Subsistence
    Truth is if technology takes over that’s the
    Only choice Left to survive at all not
    unlike The Bahamas.. Ya gotta get/
    have a Job
    And Shelter
    And Food…
    According to Evolution Friends too..
    Technology is the Real Hurricane breaking News
    Anyway.. like the ‘Terminator’ still Says ‘i’LL be back’..;)


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