I severely dislike smooshy tomatoes


I use the word “smooshy” all the time. Do you? Well, I don’t use it all the time. I use it occasionally as necessitated by smooshy items that need describing. Makes sense, right? I am pretty sure that I did not invent this word. It is in the urban dictionary, after all. In said dictionary it means messy. That’s not my intended use of the word “smooshy.”   By using such a phrase I mean to convey that something is squishy. You know, that something is soft, watery (or damp) and yielding.  To me both squishy and smooshy mean the same thing except that smooshy sounds even more ridiculous. I will return to that point in a few.


I cannot stand smooshy food. And in particular, I cannot stand smooshy tomatoes. I like my tomatoes firm yet juicy. And in particular, I like them with some salt and olive oil.  I like to season them and give them a shiny coat.   To me soft, squishy, smooshy tomatoes are gross. They leave me hungry and unsatisfied. I often eat tomatoes as a healthy snack option and it is shame that smooshy tomatoes drive me to candy.   Well, that is my own fault, I suppose.


But smooshy tomatoes have no firm core as they are all over the place.   I am at a point in life where I need things with a firm core. I desire coreful beings. Yes, I think I made up that phrase. Nothing annoys me more than when I buy a big box pf tomatoes that look good on the surface to only find that in the middle you have the smooshy, moldy tomatoes. So distasteful.   I feel disrespected by such tomatoes. Am I taking this too far? Perhaps. If I were only talking about tomatoes. Obviously, I am going beyond that. I really don’t care for smooshy people either.  I need to be around people that have a firm core. People who vacillate and go with the wind in terms of their moral compass are just not for me. People who don’t dare to speak their truth to your face are just too smooshy as well. Apparently, there are some smooshy dolls or toys out there but my son is too old for those and he has a pretty strong constitution and core.  It is how we have encouraged him to be.


There are ways of salvaging smooshy tomatoes. You can boil them and make some salsa. You can also make jam,  gazpacho, and a Bloody Mary.  None of those are ally my cup of tea but you can at least try to salvage a bad tomato. A smooshy person, on the other hand, well can they at least hand me a mojito and be gone?

10 replies »

  1. I despise smooshy tomatoes also. I generally use them to make pasta sauce, because they can smoosh into oblivion in the saucepan, whilst releasing their tomatoey flavour. I have never tried tomato jam before, though! What do you have it with? As for smooshy people… well, they are just distasteful. My mum always says, ‘Never be so sour that people spit you out, nor so sweet that they eat you whole.’ I suppose one shouldn’t be smooshy either, because nobody likes to be around a smoosh. I love your word here. Smoosh. I am going to insert it into my daily life!


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