Fashion

Carrying either a gremlin or the Fifth element or dimension in my bag

Have you ever wondered if your life is something out of a movie? Perhaps out of a television show? I know that often many of my past workplaces have certainly seemed to be cut out of some horror film where nightmare scenarios occur repeatedly. It’s like the silly girl in heels that forgets to ditch the shoes when trying to run away from the axe murderer. Not me. I most certainly would have pepper spray and my pink taser in hand. But that’s a major digression. 

My current workspace shakes every hour or so. The first time I sat at my desk I thought an earthquake was happening. Which, of course is a reasonable assumption in California. There are hundreds of earthquakes each day. It’s a bit ho hum until the big one hits. Anyway, back to something else. I often feel like I’m in the Bermuda Triangle at work. My desk shakes, my walls rattle, and I get no cell phone reception. Messages come and go and I don’t know when they occurred. I have to go out into the parking lot and walk around like a mad woman in circles and circles in order to get some type of phone reception. Isn’t it supposed to be 21st century? Again, it’s like the Bermuda Triangle there.

While my workspace is weird, but what’s actually even odder is my handbag. Every morning I leave my house with a fairly well-stuffed handbag. It doesn’t matter which handbag it is. Do note, I change my handbag quite often. Meaning, every morning before I leave my house, I need to switch all my necessities such as my wallet, lipstick, shoes, and so forth from one bag to the other. 

I would venture a guess that my handbag weighs about 5 pounds each morning. However, that includes shoes and my Coke Zero cans. As such, my handbag should actually be way lighter at the end of the day. I mean, I drink my Coke Zero sodas. That lightens the load. I often leave my shoes at work as evidenced by the fact that the cleaning crew lines up my shoes under my desk in a very nice and orderly fashion. That reminds me I should probably leave them a nice thank-you note for that great, considerate help.

Oddly, my bag does not feel lighter at the end of the day. My bag often feels like it’s 5 pounds heavier. How could that be? Obviously, the end of the day takes a psychological and physical toll. Meaning,  that at the end of the day everything feels heavier. That makes total sense. Yet, others that carry my bag also note that it feels way heavier at the end of the day. 

This has got us thinking that somehow I’m caring some magical, invisible, galaxy in my bag.  That is what makes the most sense, right? I think I’ve been watching too many science fiction shows. It’s as if I’m living a scene out of the television show The Magicians. Have you seen that show? It’s like a very dark, dark version of Harry Potter.
But back to my handbag. How else could we explain the heaviness of my bag at the end of the day? Maybe a new element is waiting to be discovered in my handbag? Or maybe I have a Gremlin hiding out in my bag? That would make total sense as they only come out after midnight. Wait. I think it’s that I’m not supposed to feed a gremlin after midnight, right? This is all so confusing. I think I need a day off. Bye bye.

2 replies »

  1. I think you’re onto something with your handbag theory! I’m pretty sure gremlins somehow change my array of items I feel have prepared me to meet the day into no pens and four of the same color lipstick…

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