I don’t drive. Don’t know how to drive. But I ride shotgun a lot. Thus, I know how to find good radio stations, be on the lookout for cops hiding around certain curvy spots (not that we are doing anything wrong), and double check the GPS directions. That’s what I believe I am supposed to do as the person sitting in the front non-driver’s seat. I’m also supposed to make sure, as best I can, that we make the needed turns and that I remain in the lookout for humans who don’t know how to cross a street. That would be a plurality of Angelinos. I’m not throwing shade. It just is.
This past week I have been a bit remiss in my car duties, as I have been sick. I have had bad nausea and headaches. Migraines. Thus, I have not been totally on the lookout. I also had to push back my seat so that I could lay down. The traffic is so bad in Los Angeles, that getting to work is grand torture when you are not feeling well.
Today, I kept my head down as we slowly crept up in traffic. Amazing how just a few miles can take a good 40 minutes. And the fumes around the car were just a bit toxic today. Well, they are always a bit toxic. Did you know that there are oil wells in the city? You are constantly immersed in some haze.
As I kept my head down, the GPS was just waiting and waiting to see when we could move. We use Waze which basically tries to get one around traffic by having you take really dangerous left turns. I am not making this up. Now Angelinos are constantly taking these odd side streets because they are trying to shave off a second here and there from their commute time.
Back to my headache.
I was in so much pain we had to at some point pull into a gas station to get extra strength tylenol. At the end of the day, I didn’t want to continue to take more pain killers. Thus, I tolerated the long car ride sans pain meds.
As we sat in traffic we needed some distraction. We changed the voice on the GPS system and got quite a treat. It was Mr T’s voice and he did not sound like he would tolerate us making any turns he did not sanction or direct us to take. At one point he screamed at us to “make a left sucker!”. It was a great way to try to tolerate the standstill LA traffic. My headache eased just a bit from the levity.
It got me thinking. Instead of an easy button, perhaps I could just use Mr T’s voice and directives around the office, sidewalks and stores. Would that not be so cool? He could motivate you with a constant “I pity the fool” stream. I certainly would be entertained.