As I write this, I am alternating between having the giggles, feeling guilty and repeatedly singing (and wanting to mute myself) “It’s a small world after all.” Talk about a horrifying earworm. But before I explain my current state of being, let me provide a backdrop.
I am not a big fan of Disney. Well, I am not a big fan of theme parks in general. I don’t like being around so many people. I don’t like being stepped on by countless children. I don’t like paying $20 for a bad piece of microwavable pizza. On top of all that I do not like roller-coasters. I get motion sickness. As you can see, theme parks are not for me.
For the longest time, I kept saying I was not going to have a kid. Thus, I didn’t really foresee having to go to a theme park, especially DisneyLand. Then I had a son. A wonderful son. Lucky for me, or was that nurture, he hasn’t really cared for theme parks either. Then, we moved to Los Angeles. Then, the rest of my family visited. Then, it was what it was. It was time to go to Disneyland as he had been tempted by the wily powers of fraternity.
Dread filled my body. I told myself it would be ok. It’s a sacrifice one needs to do for one’s kid. I’m willing to take a bullet for him (sounds drastic I know). Thus, I should be able to do Disney for him.
Well, I did it! I went and survived. Although, I still have songs and weird mouse ears running through my head. I close my eyes at night and have all sorts of happy tunes running though my brain. Let me backtrack. I think I survived it.
The song running through my head is enough to make me want to knock myself out. Apparently over 20 years ago, I went to Disney world and rode that It’s a small world after all ride. Its cute although I have to wonder a bit about the stereotypes they inherently inculcate. As I rode through the “peaceful” ride I did feel a push and a pull in terms of their images.
Speaking of push and oulls, I hate Rollercoasters. Yet, somehow I rode 4 this week. Besides Disneyland, I also ended up at Universal Studios which I like better as they have beer. I don’t drink beer, but just knowing it’s available made the rides more tolerable. Odd, I suppose. Ok. I digress. I hate Rollercoasters. Yet, we got on the Hyperspace Mountain ride at Disney which is supposed to just have one major drop per the female employee that I asked. No, I didn’t catch her name. I thought to myself, we’ll I survived Harry Potter ride at Universal, I can do Hyperspace Mountain. Plus, as a Gen xer, I felt I needed to do a Stars Wars ride. My very tall seven year old son was slightly more skeptical than me, but he likes Star Wars, and thus we got on. True enough there was just one major drop. However, it was rough, fast and scary albeit with cool effects. I clung to my son as somehow I was convinced he was going to fall out. Soon he will be taller than me but it’s still my job to protect and wrapped myself around him. I laughed as the ride finished. My son cried when we got off the ride. I felt horrible. I bought him a light Saber and everything was right with the world. Amazing. Yet, I left feeling guilty. Should Disney have that effect? They sure make a lot of money on that guilt.
Then I saw our photograph posted on the screen that the ride took of us. I giggled for an hour thereafter. The picture is hilarious in how I look like I’m going to puke. At no point did I ever feel that I would. As they say, however, a picture is worth a thousand words. In looking at the photo I actually ended up convincing myself I liked the ride. That’s messed up, right? At least I didn’t pay the $39 for the photo as I just snapped a photo of the photo. How meta!
Afain, it’s as if every molecule was tugging and pulling in every direction in my body. The photograph below captures my body’s experience quite well.
All in all, I believe I survived. Let’s see how I get rid of that ringworm and by when. Then we can talk about survival.