I hate water. There I said it. Please don’t try to lecture me on how great water is and how much we, as humans, need water. I have heard it all before. I will just counter and counter some more any arguments you may have in favor of water. I find water tasteless. Duh. So it is. I found water, at times, to be nauseating. Yes, it’s true. I find water to not be able to quench my thirst. When I am super thirsty from having shopped outside at the Outlets for over two hours in the blazing sun, water does not do it for me. I can gulp it quickly so that I hydrate myself. However, I soon thereafter need to find my Coke Zero in order to (perhaps mentally) quench my thirst.
The more lectures I receive on the benefits of and need to drink water, the more entrenched I get in my anti-water position. Now don’t get me wrong, I love water. I love water to soak in. I love baths and hot tubs. Without water, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy such moments of zen. My body can happily soak in water through its skin. However, my body will not happily drink it. Although, I will readily note that the number one ingredient in a Coke Zero is water. Thus, I am getting my water.
Thus, because of my grand water dislike, I hardly ever buy water bottles -which is a good thing for the environment. I hardly ever drink water at an event or while I am giving a presentation. I bring my own soda to the podium. As a result of this psychological orientation of mine, I was quite shock when I arrived home from an event the other day. I opened up my handbag and found a small water bottle in it that had been sipped a tiny bit.
Was this my water bottle? Hw could it be? Then I remembered that I did grab a small water bottle since I wanted something to hold onto. I had even opened the bottle and took a sip as I tried to think of small talk. I got through the interaction, in part due to me being able to use my water as a way to keep quiet and not have to meet a ton of fake people. Yes! For once I had a great purpose for drinking water. Water had saved me from countless, mindless conversations. I suppose water wasn’t so bad after all.