Culture

It’s Friday: Sometimes you just have to kick the can

I was just in the shower when I was humming The Cure’s most horrific, banal song “It’s Friday I’m in love.” How did the Cure go from goth to sap? Mind boggling. Anyway, once I noticed I was humming that I tried to change my ear worm. Then I sadly said to myself “It’s Friday, sometimes you just have to let it go.”

Indeed, this has been a week where I experienced a dull high from a major accomplishment that I could not shed tears of joy over since I was too steeped in crap. Yes, I said it.  And so have others.  My career coach of sorts noted that I had about 4 jobs at the moment, one of which is family, and that I just had to let something go.  He wasn’t the only one to have said that in the span of 24 hours.

I have tried to make my usual to-do lists that motivate me. Yet, I have found I can’t get myself to write anything. I have achieved a state of being where I have writer’s block as far as my to-do list is concerned. What gives?  I have reached a point where I have to step back and say “no” but for a superwoman like me that is a hard endeavor. I know I can’t do everything but I also know that I can do much.

So here I am singing “let it go” a song my son absolutely hates and that I find just as annoying.  But the phrase “let it go” keeps running in my head. And just like that I just started humming an ’80s song by the band Information Technology. My mind is racing. I most assuredly need a couch-vegging session where no one talks to me.

What I have also come to terms with is that I need not necessarily let something go. At times I can “kick the can” forward so that at some point someone else takes up the action. I don’t need to keep proving myself in terms of what I can do. Others can also take up the slack. Yes. Kicking the can may be the wisest choice at times.  I do not need to do it alk or discard the bits I cannot do. I can leave things undone for others to do.  I do not always have to be the nice one that fixes everything beforehand for others; leaving me tired, sick and downtrodden.

I give myself permission to not only say “no” but to also say “hey, how about you do it?”

8 replies »

  1. Codependency. The illusion that if we don’t do it, nobody else will, and if they do, they won’t do it as well as if we did it. Yes, let it go. Let people think what they will. Let it not be perfect. Perfection is an illusion depending on who is looking. Often the imperfections and undone things are the most freeing and make life more enjoyable. Dare to be imperfect, especially this time of year.

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  2. I struggle sometimes with letting someone else take the action, too, or as you say “kicking the can forward”. But then I remembered I’m on this kick of saying it’s perfectly okay to half ass some things so that you can whole ass other things 😀

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  3. Part of me screams in unholy tones “Useless morons, can’t even….” etc etc, but then I realise that I’ve assumed they are morons so much I won’t let them ever do it!

    And as much as that ‘Let it Go’ song can be annoying, damn that bitch looks like she’s having fun releasing all that pent up crazy! Only I imagine my version would be blocking out the sun and releasing unholy creatures upon the town, then calling them morons and doing thier job for them!!

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      • All of us control freaks, or in my case former control freak, know that it’s a risk to let the “morons” take up the slack for us. Yes, it’s a trust issue that we all have, especially if the results of “letting go” is just proof that “they,” indeed, are morons. I hope that the morons you (fear) deal with turn out not to have been.

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