It took 15 seconds. Fifteen. Seconds. For a 2-year-old named Cooper to go from “standing near a claw machine” to fully inside the claw machine, living his best life like a tiny, giggling prize no one could win. Toddlers are chaos in human form If you’ve ever spent […]
So imagine my surprise and borderline suspicion when an old blog post of mine about exit interviews and the general futility of “constructive feedback” suddenly starts trending like it just dropped yesterday with a Beyoncé album. Exit interviews.Of all things. Not love. Not purpose. Not “how to find […]
I saw a post floating around Facebook that stopped me mid-scroll (which, in 2026, is the emotional equivalent of a spiritual awakening):“You can be the prettiest rose ever, but if they like lilies, it won’t matter.” Rude. Accurate. Personally offensive. Because somewhere between being raised to believe we […]
There are many ways to know society is teetering on the edge. Such as people clapping when planes land (well, Puerto Ricans have always done that), group chats named “Final_Final_v3,” and now a rogue mushroom staging what can only be described as a slow-motion botanical coup. Enter the […]
There are crimes of desperation.There are crimes of opportunity.And then there are crimes that make you pause, tilt your head, and whisper that you kind of kind of get it. Case in point somewhere between Italy and Poland, 12 tons of Kit Kats were stolen. Vanished. Liberated. Rehomed. […]
Yesterday, the New York City Department of Transportation repaired 7,601 potholes in 14 hours. Fourteen. Hours. That is not a statistic. That is a cry for help. I have questions. So many questions. For instance, how are there 7,601 potholes just waiting? Are they breeding at night? Is […]
I would like it noted for the record, for the courts, for future archaeologists sifting through the digital ashes, that I have been worried about Skynet for years. This is not new anxiety. This is vintage, well-aged, oak-barrel-stored concern. So when a new research paper casually suggests that […]
The flowers have begun their soft, optimistic uprising. Little buds peeking out of the ground like, “Is it safe? Are we doing this? Is this… joy?” And for a fleeting, glorious moment, it was. Coats were abandoned. Ankles were exposed. Someone possibly you, possibly me said something reckless […]
I would like to begin by saying that I do not endorse eating your coworkers. Let’s just get that out of the way. However. When I read that a female shark in a Seoul aquarium ate a male shark after he repeatedly bumped into her, I felt something […]
There was a time not long ago ( like Tuesday) when I believed animals had a certain moral code. A quiet agreement, if you will. You stay in your lane, I’ll stay in mine, and nobody touches the ribeye. And then somewhere in Oklahoma, a dog said absolutely […]
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