People talk a lot about networking.

Expand your circle.
Grow your circle.
Build your circle.

The assumption seems to be that the larger the circle, the better.

But I have a small suspicion about circles.

They are not all created equal.

Some circles are power sources.

And some circles are slow poison.

The tricky part is that they can look very similar from the outside.

Both contain people.
Both involve conversation.
Both may even include brunch.

But the emotional chemistry inside the circle is completely different.

A powerful circle does something subtle but unmistakable.

It feeds you.

You leave a conversation feeling slightly more clear, slightly more capable, slightly more like yourself.

Someone listened.

Someone said, “I see what you’re trying to do.”

Someone challenged you in a way that made you think, not shrink.

These people show up.

Not always perfectly. Because humans are messy creatures. But consistently enough that you know you are not carrying the entire emotional ecosystem alone.

A powerful circle does not compete for oxygen.

It creates it.

But then there are the other circles.

The draining ones.

The ones where the emotional math feels off.

You leave the interaction feeling like a phone battery that has mysteriously dropped from 82% to 11%.

No obvious crisis occurred.

But somehow the conversation involved a lot of taking.

Attention taken.
Energy taken.
Support taken.

Listening, on the other hand, was in short supply.

These circles often run on an unspoken arrangement where one or two people are the providers of stability while others simply plug in.

At first it feels generous.

Then it begins to feel exhausting.

Which raises a question we rarely ask ourselves directly.

Who is actually in my circle?

Who shows up?

Who celebrates your good news without subtly competing with it?

Who tells you the truth when you are about to make a questionable decision involving your career, a relationship, or bangs?

Who listens, meaning not just waiting for their turn to speak, but genuinely absorbing what you’re saying?

And perhaps most importantly:

Who leaves you feeling stronger rather than smaller?

Your circle does not need to be large.

In fact, large circles are often overrated.

What matters is the quality of the current running through it.

Three people who truly see you can generate more power than thirty who simply orbit around you.

Because the right circle does not drain.

It amplifies.

It reminds you who you are when you temporarily forget.

It holds space for your ambition, your weird ideas, your moments of doubt, and your occasional existential spirals about life.

And the wrong circle?

Well.

Poison rarely arrives labeled as poison.

It often arrives disguised as normal.

Normal conversation.
Normal friendship.
Normal expectations that somehow always leave you carrying more than everyone else.

So perhaps the real wisdom is not “grow your circle.”

Perhaps the wisdom is that you need to choose your circle wisely. Notice who feeds the energy. Notice who quietly siphons it.

And remember that power is not measured by the number of chairs at the table.

Sometimes power is simply having a very small table where everyone sitting there actually knows how to nourish the room.