It was late. The house was quiet in that way it only gets when everyone else is asleep and your thoughts decide it’s their time to shine. I was half-watching, half-absorbing Dave Chappelle’s latest Netflix special, “The Unstoppable”. As expected, it wandered into controversial territory. Dave does not tiptoe. He stomps. Thoughtfully. Sometimes gleefully.

And then he shared something his mother used to say to him:
“Sometimes you have to be a lion so you can be the lamb you really are.”

I remember hearing that quote and thinking, Huh. Interesting. I liked it immediately, even if I didn’t fully get it. But like most things worth understanding, it needed time. Some marinating. A few life experiences. A couple of tough meetings.

What it means, at least to me, is that sometimes you need force. Not cruelty. Not bluster for its own sake. But strength. A bold posture. A clear spine. You need it to carve out space so your gentler self doesn’t get trampled. So your softness doesn’t become an open invitation for exploitation. The lion isn’t the point. It’s the protection.

As someone who has stepped into executive roles where the ground was already shaking, I get this deeply. There are moments when you don’t get to arrive softly. You have to enter firmly. You have to make hard calls, say unpopular things, and hold steady when things wobble. Not because you enjoy it but because leadership sometimes requires it.

And yet.

That strength, when it’s real, makes room for gentleness. For fairness. For humor. For listening. For warmth. Being a lion isn’t about roaring constantly. It’s about knowing you can, so you don’t have to.

This idea followed me again recently in a much cheekier form. I received a Christmas gift with a card that noted, in part “HBIC”. I’ll let you fill in the acronym yourself. Let’s just say the sentiment wasn’t subtle. But oddly, it echoed Dave’s quote. Same energy. Different packaging.

Because being the lion can also mean being calm under pressure. Being steady. Being principled. It can mean leading people through uncertainty without theatrics. Making the hard calls so there can be ease later. Creating safety so others, and you, can soften.

This isn’t Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. It’s not a personality split. It’s integration. It’s being a full person. Strong and gentle. Decisive and kind. Protective and open.

The world often asks us to choose. Be tough or be tender. Be powerful or be good. But the truth is that both can exist. In fact, the best versions of us usually require them to.

Sometimes you have to be a lion.

So you can be the lamb you really are.