Every weekday morning, I step onto the same train car like it’s the opening scene of a movie. A psychological thriller meets slow-burn social experiment. Somewhere between the first and last stop, a small community forms in that it that runs on caffeine, quiet judgment, and the delicate choreography of elbow space.
If you ride often enough, you start to realize that commuter trains have their own version of society that are structured, predictable, and weirdly intimate. We’re the same cast of characters, day after day, sharing a confined metal capsule and pretending we’re invisible.
There’s the woman who applies her mascara with surgeon-level precision as the train jolts. The man who sighs audibly every three minutes, as if narrating his suffering. The law student reading The Economist like it’s sacred scripture. And me, sipping lukewarm coffee while psychoanalyzing the sociology of strangers.
We each pick our spots like territorial animals. My seat is always same row, same aisle seat side chosen for strategic efficiency: I can escape at my stop without acrobatics at the height of extreme rush hour. I suspect everyone else is doing the same calculus. Over time, we become train family. Not in a warm, cozy way. It’s more in a “distant relatives who tolerate each other at Thanksgiving” way.
And yet there’s a quiet intimacy to it. We know when someone’s running late. We notice when someone gets a haircut or starts texting with a little smile every morning. We may not know each other’s names, but we’ve built a shared rhythm. We have a silent understanding of each other’s quirks.
Then again, every time I watch a movie like Gone Girl or Strangers on a Train, I can’t help but think that this is how it starts. Two commuters. Two secrets. A shared glance across a row. By the third act, someone’s missing, and the local news is interviewing the barista who “always thought they seemed quiet.”
But in real life, our crimes are smaller and more mundane. Taking up two seats. Ignoring someone’s desperate eye contact for help with their luggage. Pretending not to notice the person dozing dangerously close to your shoulder. The moral decay of civility in 40-minute increments.
Still, there’s beauty in it. Each morning, we collectively perform a modern ritual in which we are negotiating space, privacy, and fleeting connection in the most human way possible. We balance between empathy and self-preservation. Between community and solitude. Between “Good morning” and “Don’t talk to me, it’s 7:43 a.m.”
The commuter train is, in many ways, a mirror of city life itself in that it is fast, crowded, anonymous, yet stitched together by tiny, unspoken bonds.
And as we glide along the tracks, earbuds in and elbows tucked, we all silently agree: we may be strangers, but for this brief journey, we belong to the same strange little world.
Categories: Culture, mental health, Pop Culture, Psychology, society, Travel, work





That was articulated so beautifully
LikeLike
I never commuted on anything regularly enough to see a community – thanks for the different perspective.
LikeLike
Hehe Dear Miriam i’ve come to Find Folks at
Places Like ‘Ross Dress For Less ‘and Of Course
Walmart and Most All the Other Places We Visit other
Than A Catholic Church
Are More Friendly
Yet On the Other
Foot The Catholic
Church Services
Are Too Packed
With Folks Yes
Even Worse than
A Subway to Turn
It Into a Dance Hall Like the
Other Places It Seems Dance
Hall Life is Always Friendlier
Even if You
Are the Only
one Dancing
And They’ve Lost
The Fear of You after
12 Years and 2 Months of
Just Doing
It Now Without
Nike Shoes And
That’s Okay Most
Any Shoe Will Do With
Dance And SMiLes and
A Song of Soul to Spread
aLOnG the Way
No Chance i’ll
Be Riding a Subway
my Wife is way too
Afraid of too Many
Folks Sitting
in One Place
(over and over)
Nope No Cruises
Or Other Big
Land Motels
Possible Either
Matter of Fact
She stays out
in the Lobby at
The Church of the
Crowded Sardines hehe…
For me i Find Some way
to Become at Least Warm
Acquaintances With my Fellow Travelers
No Matter How
Long
it
might Take…
Still Working (Playing)
on the ‘Church Folks’…
All Volunteer Participant
Anthropology Observer
It’s What i Do Hehe Welcome
to PArt of mY ‘ReSearch Papers’ iNDeeD..:)
LikeLike