Ah, May. The month of tulips, Taurus birthdays, and apparently, baboons with boundary issues. As I sip my antihistamine-laced tea and contemplate the existential dread of summer speeding toward us, I can’t help but marvel at the bizarre happenings around the globe. Let’s dive into some of madness.



1.  Cape Town’s Baboon Brouhaha

In the suburb of Constantia, Cape Town, residents are grappling with an unexpected invasion—not of tourists, but of baboons. These cheeky primates have taken a liking to human homes, raiding kitchens and causing general mayhem. Some locals have resorted to using paintball guns and bear bangers to deter them, leading to social unrest among the baboon troops. Conservationists argue that human encroachment and habitat loss are to blame, turning this into a full-blown primate-human turf war.

2.  The Goat-Carcass Crib

Meanwhile, in a bit of disturbing news down in South Carolina, a couple was arrested after authorities discovered their 8-month-old baby living amidst 47 neglected animals and a decaying goat carcass in the bathtub. The home was described as “absolutely disgusting,” with animal feces, waste, and an unbearable ammonia stench permeating the air. Surprisingly, and thankfully, the baby was found in relatively good condition and has since been placed with a relative. Still no word on why there was a dead goat inside the house.



3. California’s Cat Killer on the Loose

In further disturbing news, over in Southern California, authorities are on the hunt for Alejandro Oliveros Acosta, accused of being a serial cat killer responsible for the deaths of up to 20 cats. Acosta allegedly lured cats with canned food before taking them home and killing them. Disturbing mementos from the killings were found in his residence. He failed to appear in court while out on bail, prompting a new arrest warrant and public warnings for pet owners to secure their animals. What is wrong with people?

4. Monkey Business: Capuchins Kidnap Howler Babies

In a twist of interspecies drama, young male capuchin monkeys have been observed kidnapping the babies of nearby howler monkeys. Researchers are puzzled by this behavior, speculating that boredom might be a factor. It’s a stark reminder that even in the animal kingdom, idle hands (or paws) can lead to mischief.


As May winds down and the allergy season reaches its peak, let’s take a moment to appreciate the absurdity of the world around us. From baboon invasions to feline felons, the universe never ceases to surprise and lately disturb. So, take that 20-minute nap, dream of goat-free bathtubs, and prepare for whatever June has in store. After all, in the grand mad circus of life, we’re all just trying to find our place in the tent.