I had a dream the other night. But not the kind that shakes your soul awake or inspires a novel. No. This dream was quite possibly one of the dullest scenes my brain has ever produced. I dreamt… of updating my phone.

Yes, you read that right. While others are flying through mystical landscapes or running from shadowy creatures, my nocturnal imagination served up a cinematic gem titled “iOS 17.8.9: The Update Nobody Asked For.”

There I was, in dreamland, staring at my phone screen. Watching the loading bar crawl forward. Slowly. Painfully. The suspense? Nonexistent. The plot? Minimal. The action? Literally watching pixels progress. At some point in this dream, and I’m not exaggerating, the most exciting twist was that the search bar moved from the top of the screen to the bottom.

What in REM-cycle purgatory is that?

This from the same subconscious that often turns me into a high-octane version of Indiana Jones crossing booby-trapped temples or negotiating peace in a post-apocalyptic ice age. But now? I’m watching software load like it’s the Super Bowl. Was this a forced intermission? A sign I need a vacation? Or perhaps just my brain giving me the finger for working too hard?

Maybe, just maybe, it’s a not-so-subtle whisper from my psyche: “Hey Mimi, your waking life is moving so fast that even your dreams are asking for a reset.” It’s like my inner world decided to hold an IT department meeting. “Let’s do a full system update. Reorganize some apps. Maybe declutter a few emotional caches. Move that search bar and confuse her just for fun.”

Or… it’s just that I forgot to update my phone before bed and my dreams took over the task for me. Thanks, brain?

Whatever the case, consider this a warning. If your dreams start looking like your inbox or your Zoom calendar, it might be time to take a break. Perhaps do something wild before bedtime, like watch a thriller or eat a slice of cake. Or zumba.

Dream big, friends. But let’s all agree to leave the software updates to the waking world.